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The Self-Abandonment Loop: Shame, Self-Criticism, and How to Break Free
Why is it so hard for us to do what we actually want to do? In this episode, I explain the hidden structure of self-abandonment: how shame drives the loop, how the loop produces more shame, and how the inner critic uses a “can’t win” situation to keep us stuck. Then Dr. Rick and I explore what actually breaks the cycle, including the role of anger, the difference between shame and grief, self-compassion, and what it really means to get on your own side.
Key Topics:
0:00 Intro and overview of self-abandonment
4:38 What are we abandoning?
8:30 The self-abandonment loop
21:55 How a parts model can help us understand shame
26:20 The double-bind of self-criticism
32:56 How to get out of the double-bind
33:00 [Sponsor] ZocDoc
41:34 Anger and resentment
49:47 Moving from shame to grief
56:15 Breaking out of the self-abandonment loop
1:10:22 Recap
I'm not a clinician, and what I say on this channel should not be taken as medical advice.
Sponsors:
Go to https://Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.
Level up your bedding with Quince.
Go to https://Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns.
Subscribe to Being Well on:
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/being-well-with-dr-rick-hanson/id1120885936
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5d87ZU1XY0fpdYNSEwXLVQ
Who Am I: I'm Forrest, the co-author of Resilient (https://amzn.to/3iXLerD) and host of the Being Well Podcast (https://apple.co/38ufGG0). I'm making videos focused on simplifying psychology, mental health, and personal growth.
Subscribe to Rick on YouTube: http://youtube.com/@RickHanson?sub_confirmation=1
Get Rick's Free Newsletters: https://rickhanson.com/writings/newsletters-from-dr-rick-hanson/
Follow Rick Here:
🌍 https://rickhanson.com/
📸 https://www.instagram.com/rickhansonphd
You can follow me here:
🎤 https://apple.co/38ufGG0
🌍 https://www.forresthanson.com
📸 https://www.instagram.com/f.hanson
Видео The Self-Abandonment Loop: Shame, Self-Criticism, and How to Break Free канала Forrest Hanson
Key Topics:
0:00 Intro and overview of self-abandonment
4:38 What are we abandoning?
8:30 The self-abandonment loop
21:55 How a parts model can help us understand shame
26:20 The double-bind of self-criticism
32:56 How to get out of the double-bind
33:00 [Sponsor] ZocDoc
41:34 Anger and resentment
49:47 Moving from shame to grief
56:15 Breaking out of the self-abandonment loop
1:10:22 Recap
I'm not a clinician, and what I say on this channel should not be taken as medical advice.
Sponsors:
Go to https://Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.
Level up your bedding with Quince.
Go to https://Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns.
Subscribe to Being Well on:
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/being-well-with-dr-rick-hanson/id1120885936
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5d87ZU1XY0fpdYNSEwXLVQ
Who Am I: I'm Forrest, the co-author of Resilient (https://amzn.to/3iXLerD) and host of the Being Well Podcast (https://apple.co/38ufGG0). I'm making videos focused on simplifying psychology, mental health, and personal growth.
Subscribe to Rick on YouTube: http://youtube.com/@RickHanson?sub_confirmation=1
Get Rick's Free Newsletters: https://rickhanson.com/writings/newsletters-from-dr-rick-hanson/
Follow Rick Here:
🌍 https://rickhanson.com/
📸 https://www.instagram.com/rickhansonphd
You can follow me here:
🎤 https://apple.co/38ufGG0
🌍 https://www.forresthanson.com
📸 https://www.instagram.com/f.hanson
Видео The Self-Abandonment Loop: Shame, Self-Criticism, and How to Break Free канала Forrest Hanson
Mental Health Personal Growth Self-Help Psychology Forrest Forrest Hanson Being Well Being Well Podcast Rick Hanson Resilient Self-Care Anxiety Psychology Facts Self-Development self abandonment shame self criticism inner critic people pleasing fawn response emotional healing trauma response self compassion toxic shame boundaries assertiveness mental health podcast psychology podcast healing trauma self worth attachment styles codependency
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23 марта 2026 г. 17:00:16
01:21:14
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