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The Self-Abandonment Loop: Shame, Self-Criticism, and How to Break Free

Why is it so hard for us to do what we actually want to do? In this episode, I explain the hidden structure of self-abandonment: how shame drives the loop, how the loop produces more shame, and how the inner critic uses a “can’t win” situation to keep us stuck. Then Dr. Rick and I explore what actually breaks the cycle, including the role of anger, the difference between shame and grief, self-compassion, and what it really means to get on your own side.

Key Topics:
0:00 Intro and overview of self-abandonment
4:38 What are we abandoning?
8:30 The self-abandonment loop
21:55 How a parts model can help us understand shame
26:20 The double-bind of self-criticism
32:56 How to get out of the double-bind
33:00 [Sponsor] ZocDoc
41:34 Anger and resentment
49:47 Moving from shame to grief
56:15 Breaking out of the self-abandonment loop
1:10:22 Recap

I'm not a clinician, and what I say on this channel should not be taken as medical advice.

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Who Am I: I'm Forrest, the co-author of Resilient (https://amzn.to/3iXLerD) and host of the Being Well Podcast (https://apple.co/38ufGG0). I'm making videos focused on simplifying psychology, mental health, and personal growth.

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Видео The Self-Abandonment Loop: Shame, Self-Criticism, and How to Break Free канала Forrest Hanson
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