Why Men Always Come Back

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Why do men who leave always come back? In this video, I’ll go over the reasons that men will end a relationship and then show up, months later, trying to get your love and attention all over again. I’ll also tell you if you should give him a second chance.

Hi, I’m Lucy Goldman from Love Learnings. As a commitment expert, I’ve noticed a particular pattern among men. Some men will run away from the relationship at the first sign of trouble or intimacy and then, when you think it’s over for good, when you’ve finally started to move on, they’ll show up again and start the whole thing over again.

So why do men do this? Here are some simple things to look for to explain his actions. Let’s go through them one by one.

1.They want sex

This is the most obvious one. If he broke up with you because he didn’t want a relationship and now all he’s looking for is something physical, then there’s a good chance he falls into this camp. I’m sure that I don’t have to tell you that men tend to be more driven by sex than women. This means that he can compartmentalize his feelings for you and just use you for sex. Or at least, he thinks he can. This is why many men show up with kind words and romantic gestures when you haven’t heard from him in months, only to disappear once he’s done the deed.

2. He hasn’t healed

Men get over breakups differently. A study found that it takes men longer to get over a breakup because they don’t process their feelings the same way as women. Instead of healing, he’ll simply push his feelings down, and when you push your feelings down, they always come bubbling back up. It could be that he doesn’t have a support system to talk about his feelings so he doesn’t know how to properly deal with what he’s feeling.

3. He’s afraid of losing you

Even if things were well and truly over, on some level he’s afraid to really let you go for good. This is more common with guys who were jealous and possessive during your relationship. It could be that he doesn’t want you, but he also doesn’t want anyone else to have you.

4. This is what he wants

Some men leave not because they want to break up but because they were afraid of getting too close. In a way, you’re giving him exactly what he wants: the ability to stay at a distance and still receive your love, sex and attention.

With that in mind, don’t let him come crawling back if you really want a relationship with him again. I know it’s tempting but if you let him treat you this way then he has no incentive to change and really start treating you properly.

5. He misses you

If a man comes back after a long period of time, you can safely assume that it was because he missed you. But remember that you can miss someone and not want them back in your life. Many people don’t understand this and so they resort to recreating the same relationships with the same people and expect a different result. Don’t let it happen to you.

6. He loves the chase

This is similar to number four. Many men love the thrill of the chase they get from pursuing and seducing a woman, but when they achieve their goal, they don’t know how to manage in an actual relationship. This is why he’ll leave and then come back. This is especially true if you haven’t been particularly receptive to his advances and yet that’s only caused him to push harder and be more and more romantic and loving. There’s little that you can do with this type of guy. They’re just unwilling to really build anything real with you because what they really want is the chase.

7.Because he can

Honestly, the number one reasons that men come back after a period of time is that you let him. Not to say that you’re responsible for his actions, but it does take two to tango. If you always allow him back in the door when he comes back to you then he’ll know that you’re always there for him if he needs you, regardless of how this might affect you (and even him) emotionally.

8. He has no other options

This one can be hard to hear if he’s someone you consider to be the love of your life. Oftentimes men will come back to try for another chance because he’s seen what his prospects are and they don’t look good. It could be that he really wants you back and it could be that no one else wants him.

I’m going to stop the list here but there are even more reasons that men come crawling back: It could be because he wants control, it could have to do with his ego, or it could be that he’s unable to let you go.

But remember, just because he won’t let go, it doesn’t mean he loves you. As you can see, there are plenty of reasons that men come back and most of them have nothing to do with his feelings for you. So you need to remain strong if you want to get out of this in one piece.

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