Relationship Skills: Anger, Guilt, Jealousy with Dr. Dawn Elise Snipes

Explore Relationship Skills related to #Anger #Guilt #Jealousy, and Their Impact on mental health and Interventions to reduce distress and improve relationships in this video by Dr. Dawn Elise Snipes. Learn how anger guilt and jealousy impact relationships. #relationshipskills

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The Many Facets of Anger
Instructor: Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes PhD, LPC-MHSP, LMHC
Objectives
~ Explore the function of anger
~ Identify the types of threats that may prompt anger
~ Identify different types of anger to include
~ Run of the mill anger
~ Irritation
~ Resentment
~ Envy/Jealousy
~ Guilt/Regret
Function of Anger
~ Anger is part of the fight or flight reaction which is your brain’s natural response to a perceived threat
~ Anger pushes away or helps you dominate a threat
Types of Threats...
Activity
~ How do you handle threats to your...
Anger/Irritation
~ Anger is a generic term that describes the fight reaction in response to a threat
~ You feel like you can conquer the threat OR
~ You do not see any options for escape (think cat in a corner)
~ Anger happens on a continuum ranging from mild irritation to rage
~ The level of anger experienced is usually in proportion to
~ The immediate threat
~ The cumulative effect of multiple threats
~ Many times when people feel angry, underneath they also have a sense of helplessness or disempowerment.
What Triggers Your Anger
~ Threats
~ Rejection/Isolation
~ Loss of Control/The Unknown
~ Death/Loss
~ Failure
What to Do About Anger
~ Identify the threat
~ Explore the automatic beliefs triggering the anger
~ Why is this making you angry? (It makes me angry when…. I hate it when…)
~ How is this similar to other (unresolved) situations in your past?
~ Are there alternate explanations for the situation?
What to Do About Anger
~ Identify the threat cont…
~ What threat theme is it related to?
~ Rejection: Is it really about you?
~ Failure:
~ Are you globalizing?
~ What can you learn?
~ Loss of Control/The Unknown:
~ What parts of this were and were not in your control?
~ What actions are worth your energy
~ Death/Loss
~ How does this impact how you see the world?
~ How does it impact how you see yourself?
Activity
Resentment
~ Resentment is anger directed at others for things they either did and shouldn’t have or didn’t do and should have.
~ What is the impact of holding on to resentments?
~ Many times underlying resentment are hurt feelings. (Example: You invited Jane to the party and not me.)

What Do You Resent

Envy/Jealousy
~ Envy and jealousy can be thought of as anger at someone else for having something you want.
~ What is the impact of holding on to envy?
Envy/Jealousy
~ Many times underlying envy and jealousy are:
~ Low self-esteem
~ People don’t like me because I am not as pretty as her.
~ Lack of gratitude awareness
~ Focusing primarily on all the things you don’t have
~ Lack of clarity about personal goals
~ I wish I were a CEO like her (but that would mean sacrificing other things more important to me)
~ Erroneous conclusions
~ If I were rich I would be happy.

Activity: What Do You Envy?
Notice how each of these is the opposite of a threat theme
Activity: What Do You Envy?
~ Why might people envy you?
~ In what way does each of those things represent:
~ Acceptance and Inclusion
~ Control and Power
~ Success
~ Someone having something you lost
~ What does it mean if people don’t envy you?
~ Rejection
~ Loss of power/control
~ Failure
Activity: What Do You Envy?
Guilt/Regret
~ Guilt and regret are anger directed at yourself for things you either did and shouldn’t have or didn’t do and should have.
~ Anger represents your minds way of identifying a threat and getting you to do something.
~ In what way is holding on to guilt and regret
~ An effective response to the threat
~ Preventing you from effectively responding to the threat

Forgiveness
~ Forgiveness is a power move.

Summary
~ Anger exists on a continuum
~ It is a response to a real or perceived threat designed to get you to do something
~ The intensity of the response often represents the level of threat
~ Many times threats are perceived based on prior learning experiences that trigger memories or critical self-talk
~ By knowing what is important and meaningful in your life you can more effectively identify what things actually present a threat and respond more effectively.

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