Thai women and money how much to give Sin Sod dowry in Thailand dating

Thai women and money is a subject I don't like to talk about. Placing a monetary value on a woman is extremely disrespectful in my personal opinion, yet many cultures do this very thing and in their eyes, it is disrespectful to avoid it. As a western man, you need to be aware of this and how it works. Not just so you don't overpay. That really isn't the point. It is about mutual respect and making sure you are not taken advantage of. This will also give you an idea of how the family feels about you. I would like to hear your opinions. I believe we should help one another.

Sin sod is what we would call a dowry. Paid by the man to the family of the bride to be. This is a Thai tradition and not a bad thing in itself.

Put aside any negative thoughts you may have about “buying your wife”. The Sin Sod is meant to be a reimbursement for the loss of the daughter, but also proof that you are able to provide for her. Wouldn’t you want to know that your daughter is marrying someone with the financial means to take care of her?

A secondary reason is the security of the entire family. Remember, Thai children care for their parents. As a member of the family you will be doing your part to provide. “Your part” means just that. You should never take on the entire burden.

So a dowery or Sin Sod is a requirement, however, it is normally returned to the couple after the wedding. That’s right! Most good families will not keep the money. It is at the parents discretion though. You are giving the Sin Sod as a gift with no expectation of it being returned.

There is more to the story. Traditionally, daughters inherit the parents assets, meaning the house or business would go to her and ultimately be yours.

This is all fine and not a bad tradition at all. But back to the issue at hand. Foreign husbands rarely receive the same treatment as a Thai man. Since we don’t know better, we are often charged a much larger dowery and it isn’t returned! We will also never see any of the family assets. We can’t own property and have no rights even if married to a Thai. This is where things get difficult.

Already, we are paying for something where everyone knows, we receive no financial benefit. Yet, the family may try to charge you significantly more than a Thai man.

The amount of the Sin Sod is directly related to the class of the woman. An average educated, middle-class woman would start in the range of 100,000 baht or a little over $3000 USD. At the upper level, she may be 300,000 baht. This is based on many factors such as your Thai fiancee’s status, education, occupation and other related social background information (such as her virginity). And yes, virginity is a big part of what you are paying for. A 1,000,000 baht bride would be the equivalent of marrying a highly educated, elite girl from a top family or someone famous like a movie star. At this level you are marrying into a wealthy, powerful family. This is not a reasonable amount for a middle-class woman no matter how great she is.

As a westerner, I don’t feel comfortable discussing a woman’s monetary value. It truly seems wrong. But this is a deeply rooted Thai tradition, so you will be faced with it whether you like it or not. As such, we need to look further into the tradition and put our own beliefs aside.

This is a VERY important part. The listed amounts are for a young (in her 20’s), attractive, university educated, middle-class bride that is a virgin. If a bride is uneducated, older or otherwise less desirable, these prices are significantly lower.

In the case of her not being a virgin, having kids, or previously married, no dowry should be paid. This is the Thai tradition and families know this. If they suggest otherwise, they are taking you for a fool. A Thai man would never pay a dowry under these circumstances.

Let’s touch on something previously mentioned. This tradition is symbolic in nature, and any good family would return the dowry as a gift to start your new life. This is how it works between a Thai man and woman.

Now as a farang, you are a target. There are plenty of cases where a family asks a westerner for 1,000,000 baht dowry for an uneducated woman with two kids. If you find yourself in this situation, step away. This is not a family you want to be part of. If your fiancée goes along with it, you now know her motives as well.

I hope this gives you an idea of what to expect and what is correct accoding to Thai culture.
This is just my personal opinion. If I were marrying a Thai woman that was previously married or had kids, I would never follow through if the family demanded a dowry. However, if they did not expect one, I would give a small amount as a gesture of respect and a nice way to start off the relationship. Say 50,000 baht. But only if it were my choice. Otherwise, they can find another! If dating in Thailand and you meet a Thai girl and get serious. This is a subject that will come up in the land of smiles.

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