Winter Adagio

So I honestly have no idea if this thing is any good ,but I do know that my mom really liked the unfinished version that I played for her 9 mos. before her death . Mom wasn't fond of jazz ,and that would normally include mine so , I am happy to say that she liked this music . Let me add that this music is somewhat more conservative than I thought my 1st orchestral piece would be . I guess composing a piece of music that my mom would have hated, didn't exactly fit the mission parameters I gave myself .
The last 5 years of my mothers life is somehow embedded in this composition. Those last five years included one major surgery, a hard I.C.U. recovery, chemo therapy, partial remission, emotional elation, emotional depression, supportive family; both related and otherwise, five Christmases, a voraciously devoured library of novels and spiritual/self help books , an unceasing flurry of hopeful internet searches ,and one intently watched Olympics . She never lost her fiercely independent determination to continue driving ,working, and going to casinos . Through out all of this she displayed great courage ,unceasing kindness and consideration for others , an undiminished highly inquisitive Intellect , and what dignity circumstances allowed . She did all of this with the specter of death her constant companion .
On the surface Winter Adagio is a nod to my mothers love of symphonic music . This adagio is in fact a rather formal puzzle ; a little musical clockworks . Its the most ambitious iteration of a series of common tone studies I have been composing ,off and on, for about 30 years . This slowly swirling adagio has at its center a four measure phrase quietly stating F#minor over and over . This central component is present through out most of this piece except for the woodwind fugue where it gets left out for transparency sake . Now every other note of this composition is there to establish as many other tonalities as possible ,while always including this central pivot point . By design, this music hardly spends anytime at all in F#minor, that four measure ostinato is constantly being subsumed and transformed by all these other tonalities . This is the architecture of Winter Adagio .
At the end of the day what we have here is a Neo-Classical re-imagining of the Baroque built with modern jazz harmony . Its been over my head all the way as well as a great learning tool . Can't ask for more than that .
The inner landscape of the terminally ill ; as well as their loved ones ,can be a kind of crucible for where certain truths might come to light that otherwise wouldn't . The two realizations that I take away from my mothers death are ; first, that our lives aren't what we think they are , and two; that there is really ever only one choice and that choice is between fear and love . So for those of you too tough, or hip, or worldly ,or traumatized, to admit this little spiritual axiom ( sadly that still ,sometimes includes me ) I say "Hey it's ok there little fella don't be afraid. It's gonna be ok."

Видео Winter Adagio канала paxwallacejazz