She wanted my bank account for emergencies, so I gave her the one with $7!😡

She wanted my bank account for emergencies, so I gave her the one with $7. Her face at brunch said it all.

We'd been dating for about 10 months. Sarah was amazing at first—funny, smart, worked in marketing. But little things started adding up.
Her card would decline at restaurants. She'd mysteriously forget her wallet at home. Need $200 here, $300 there for "unexpected expenses." Always promised to pay back. Never did.
Over those 10 months, I'd loaned her probably close to $3,000. Started keeping track in my notes app after the first $1,000 disappeared.
Then one night over dinner, she goes, "Babe, I've been thinking. We should combine finances. You know, for emergencies."
I make around 90K as an engineer. She pulls maybe $2,000 a month on a good month. I knew exactly where this was headed.
"Let me think about it," I said.
Big mistake. She went OFF. "My ex gave me his card, no questions asked. Real couples don't have secrets. What, you don't trust me after almost a year together?"
The guilt trip was Olympic-level. Twenty minutes of how her friends' boyfriends all share accounts, how this proved I wasn't serious about us.
Finally, I caved. "You're right. I'm sorry. I'll add you tomorrow."
She literally squealed and hugged me. "I knew you'd come around!"
That night, I opened a new checking account online. Minimum deposit to avoid fees was $5. I put in $7—felt generous. Got her added as an authorized user the next day, complete with her own debit card.
Came home with the paperwork. "Here you go, babe. Full access to my bank account."
She grabbed that card like it was made of gold. "This is amazing! We're really doing the adult thing now."
"Absolutely. Oh, and my sister wants to take us to brunch Saturday to celebrate."
"Perfect! I'll wear that new dress."
The $200 dress she bought with money she "borrowed" for car repairs.
Saturday rolls around. We meet my sister Jessica at this bougie brunch spot—$22 avocado toast, $8 orange juice, $15 mimosas. Sarah's absolutely glowing.
She's telling Jessica all about our "financial partnership" and how I finally realized what being in a real relationship means.
Jessica, who I'd told about the plan, is trying so hard not to laugh. "Wow, that's really big. You must be so happy."
"I am! Actually, let me get this check. Time to break in the new card."
She handed the server her card with this huge smile. Like she was doing me a favor.
The server ran it. Came back looking confused. "I'm sorry ma'am, but this card was declined."
Sarah's face went RED. "That's impossible. Run it again."
Server tried again. "It's showing insufficient funds."
Sarah turned to me, confused and getting angry. "What's going on?"
I pulled up the banking app on my phone. Slow, like I was actually checking. "Huh, that's weird. Balance is showing... $7. All seven dollars of it."
Dead silence. Jessica was biting her lip so hard I thought she'd draw blood.
"SEVEN DOLLARS? Where's your REAL money?"
"This IS my real account. My checking account. But I make good money!"
"Yeah, and it goes into my savings, my 401K, my investment accounts. You said you wanted access to my bank account. This is my bank account—the one I use for daily expenses."
She went from red to white to purple in about five seconds. "You think this is FUNNY?"
"I think it's exactly what you asked for."
She stood up, threw the card at me, and stormed out. Left me with the $94 brunch bill, which I paid with my actual debit card.
Jessica finally let out the laugh she'd been holding. "Her FACE. Oh my god, her face."
Got home to find Sarah rage-packing. "You HUMILIATED me! In front of your sister!"
"I gave you exactly what you asked for."
"You know what I MEANT! I meant your REAL money!"
"Oh, you meant ALL my money? Why didn't you just say so?"
"This is financial abuse!"
I actually laughed. Couldn't help it. "Not giving you unlimited access to my savings is abuse? That's a new one."
She called me every name in the book. Said I'd regret this, that I'd never find someone who loved me like she did.
She left screaming. Best breakup of my life.

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