My adult kids treat our house like a hotel so I'm selling it and moving to Florida!😡

My adult kids treat our house like a hotel so I'm selling it and moving to Florida.

Both my kids moved back home after college disasters. Jake's 20, working full-time at a restaurant but acts like he's doing us a favor. Emma's 19, dropped out sophomore year and now works retail while "figuring herself out." They each pay their $270 car payments and throw us $60 monthly for utilities like they're splitting rent with roommates.
Here's what they don't pay for: the endless grocery bills because they eat everything in sight. The streaming services they monopolize. The WiFi. The electricity bill that doubled because they never turn off lights. Or the emotional labor of living with two overgrown teenagers who think basic human decency is optional.
Their bathroom is a biohazard. I found moldy towels behind the door last week and three different shampoo bottles growing science experiments. The kitchen sink perpetually overflows with their dishes.
But the breaking point was the trash situation. We have one simple rule: whoever fills it up, takes it out. Tuesday morning, I asked Jake to drag the bins to the curb. Five days later, they're still sitting by our garage, attracting flies and neighborhood complaints. When I confronted him, he shrugged and said, "I forgot."
That's when I lost it. "You guys are adults now. Your dad and I are considering selling this house and moving to Florida. Figure your lives out."
Jake actually laughed at me. "dad, you're not going to abandon your babies. You love us too much. Besides, where would we live?"
Emma nodded along. "Yeah, this is just another one of your empty threats. Remember when you said you'd take away our car keys if we didn't do chores? That lasted like two days."
Their smugness was infuriating. They knew exactly what buttons to push.
That night, I lay in bed staring at the ceiling. My wife whispered, "Maybe they're right. Are we really going to kick out our own kids during a recession?"
But something had shifted in me. The next morning, while they slept until noon, I called three different realtors. Got the house appraised. Chose the most aggressive agent who promised to move fast.
By Thursday, professional photos were taken. By Friday, the listing went live without a word to my kids.
Saturday morning changed everything. Jake stumbles outside in his boxers to grab a energy drink from his car. That's when he sees it: a massive "For Sale" sign planted right in our front yard with the realtor's cheerful face smiling back at him.
He sprints inside, practically hyperventilating. "dad! MOM! What the hell is that sign? This has to be some kind of joke!"
Emma emerges from her cave, sees Jake panicking, and immediately starts crying. "You can't sell our house! Where are we supposed to live? This is our home!"
I calmly sat at the kitchen table with my coffee and the newspaper, like it was any other Saturday morning. "Oh, that? The realtor thinks we'll have offers within two weeks. The market's really hot right now."
Jake's face went from confusion to pure horror. "You're bluffing. You have to be bluffing."
I stood up, walked to the junk drawer, and pulled out a stack of apartment listings I'd printed. "The house closes in 60 days maximum. Here are some affordable rentals in the area. Better start making calls."
Emma grabbed the papers, hands shaking. "dad, we can't afford any of these! The deposit alone would wipe out our savings!"
"Then I suggest you start budgeting differently. Maybe cook your own meals instead of ordering DoorDash every night."
That's when Jake finally understood this wasn't another empty threat. "dad, please. We can change. We can help more around the house. We can pay more rent!"

"The sign stays up," I said firmly. "But I'll make you a deal. You have until the first showing next weekend to prove you can act like the adults you claim to be. Deep clean this entire house. Handle all the yard work. Take over grocery shopping and cooking. Show me you can be partners in this household, not parasites."
Jake immediately started gathering dishes from around the living room. Emma ran to get cleaning supplies from under the sink.
Suddenly, they both remembered exactly how to be helpful.

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