[tw ed] binging multiple times in one day // depressed binge vlog // salted brownies + chocolate

i acc enjoyed editing this video a lot because it was just a simple vlog~~~
i'm gonna be busy with summer courses again soon - why do i do this to myself ﾍ(;´Д｀ﾍ)

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♢♢♢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ʀᴇᴄᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ʙɪɴɢɪɴɢ ♢♢♢

𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕩𝕥:
I have had a large appetite since little, but was able to maintain a lean(ish) physique due to our eating habits at home. haven't been formally diagnosed but I struggle with disordered eating patterns and body dysmorphia on a daily if not hourly basis.
after I started university I had access to more foods than I could ever imagine, which, in conjunction with my larger appetite, led my body image to go into a downward spiral. was on the verge of bulimia but I couldn't bring myself to physically vomit food so i guess that's a blessing?

𝕔𝕦𝕣𝕣𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕝𝕪 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕠𝕟:
- bettering my relationship w/ exercise (which is no exercise atm, please don't ask me to workout because i'll see my body and hate myself)
- not eating like, 120% full at every single meal
- mindful eating
- do less body checking
- reducing the amount of sugar i binge on (for my poor skin lol)

i started documenting my binges at first, for myself. to leave a "document" of how much i could eat - because, if i don't document, then i will literally forget what my binges were about. however, it seems that these videos were helpful to some of you for controlling binges or to feel seen. so i will ignore the comments that make me feel sad!

if you dislike my negative self-talk (aka dark humor) please don't lash out at me cuz i read every comment i-i will cry (*not that i did....)

ALSO please don't accuse me of glorifying this disorder thank uuuuu~

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