Our year 2020 - love and loss

Oh, what a year 2020. It’s hard to find words for it. The video hopefully shows some of the emotions we went through. We had the most beautiful moments with our horses, but also in our private life. Everything was going so well and we were just so happy to call these three AMAZING horses our own.

And from one day to the other, everything has changed. We went to the field to take Don and Makaio out for an adventure... and we found Makaio laying in the grass, dead. Without any visible symptoms.
Makaio has been deeply loved and his loss happened so suddenly and without explanation. This has been very tought for us and we felt trapped in a nightmare – but we knew it was real.
The last two months of the year we were grieving and trying to recover from this, also by giving us new challenges with the training horses Indu and Shadow, to come out of our hole.

Makaio has been an extraordinary horse and this video is also kind of a tribute to him.
It was very important for me to finish this video with all these fulfilling moments, because the memories are all we have now. We’re glad and thankful that we have lived these moments so intense. It’s like I still feel the laughter and the joy we had.
When you look at the date today and watch the video closely, you know why I have uploaded it today... it is a day we saw coming since months. And soon the day has passed.

I don’t want to bee too negative in the caption, but I feel like I want to explain what you see in the video so you can understand.
Only a few days after Makaio died we drove with Estella to the equine veterinary clinic. She was lame and the vet at home hasn’t found out why. It came out that it was worse than the vet suspected it to be and she needed to go in a surgery with an unclear recovery.
This has really hit us at our worst time. Estella hasn’t been seriously lame since 2012 and now everything happened at once. But no matter how we felt, we wanted to be strong for her and do what we can do.
Luckily the surgery went well, but whether she would fully recover wasn’t clear. It was the start from a long rehabilitation phase.
You don’t see a lot from her in the video and from her rehab program, as she is living in our hometown with Tanja’s mum and we come home from time to time. And when we are together with our most precious girl, we often prefer to not film, but just spend time together.
People often say „you are so strong. I cannot imagine going through this“.
I can tell you, I couldn’t imagine before eighter. But when you need to be strong, than you can be strong. Believe me.

It easily happens that there are one, two very bad events that overshadow everything. They can overshadow the whole year. But when you look closely and see all the different days, you see how many extraordinary beautiful moments there have been. Making this video has actually helped me to remember many of them.

These are the moments I want to keep in my heart. So my wish is to you: leave a positive comment below this video. We got so many expressions of compassion already... Please, honor the beauty you see.

Thank you so much for going this path with us. We hope from our hearts, that we can give you something valuable with what we share, because you all inspire us just the same!

I probably need another year to finish the video from 2021. Haha.

Much love to you,

Tanja and Bettina
~ The video is edited by Bettina
We don’t own the music.
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Видео Our year 2020 - love and loss канала NativeHorse