I Loved My Grandpa But He Died Without Knowing It

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This is Anthony, and he was named after his granddad. He would say this is an honor, but he doesn't think he deserves it. It's so sad that he has only realized this now, and he doesn’t have the opportunity to tell him about it.

Anthony's family lives in a small house. There's four of them – his parents, his sister, and him. He also had a grandfather, who was a widower and lived separately. They went to visit him from time to time, and he was always very energetic and positive. Anthony was his favorite grandchild – he had been named after him, and he resembling him a lot. When Anthony was a toddler, he and his grandad were best friends – he taught him lots of things, took him for long walks to “explore the world”, as he said, and all in all was the perfect grandpa.

As Anthony grew up, he became interested in things that his grandpa couldn’t share with him – skating, music, new friends, things like that. Suddenly he noticed that he no longer found it as interesting to talk to his grandpa as he had earlier. Well, that’s normal. Anthony didn’t spend all his evenings with him as used to do, and now he just made a quick visit once a week or two. He didn’t even notice that his grandpa was growing old – to him, he was just the same gramps. But at some point he could no longer walk a lot anymore, and his eyesight became really poor. Then one day his parents told him that it was difficult for his granddad to take care of himself, and they had invited him to live with the family.

Granddad didn’t feel good about it. He said he would rather go to a nursing home instead of bothering anyone, but dad insisted because he thought it's always better to live with your folks at home. Maybe he was right. Grandpa got the room next to Anthony's, and his parents asked him to keep an eye on grandpa since they were good friends. For instance, he was meant to help him get down the stairs or read for him - nothing complicated, as he was perfectly able to take care of himself. But by then, Anthony had become a teenager and so he didn’t enjoy the idea as much as he would have several years before.

Grandpa stayed silently in his room nearly all the time and didn’t bother anyone. Sometimes he asked Anthony something or tried to talk to him, but he was now in the full flow of his teenage coolness, so this irritated Anthony a lot. You see, he was always trying to do something. Anthony remembers his grandpa taking his smartphone that was broken when he wasn't home, and making an attempt to mend it, obviously without any success. He broke it even more, so that it became irreparable. He apologized a lot, justifying his mistake by saying that he couldn't see very well.

But at the same time, Anthony did do everything that was asked of him - helping, and reading to grandpa as well, which he thought was the hardest chore. One day when he was 15, they were home alone and Anthony became particularly irritated by something. Granddad asked him something, but he responded curtly and angrily to him. Then he said: "Ok, I won't bother you anymore, I'll go to my room to listen to the radio. But I’m always there if you want to talk. He walked out into the hallway. And suddenly Anthony heard the sound of him falling. He ran out and saw his granddad, who had fallen over onto the floor and wasn't moving. Anthony dragged him to his room, and shook him angrily. He shouted something like, “Wake up, you old man, stop scaring me! Do you think I am staying here all day with you! Get up NOW!” But he didn’t wake up.

Then the ambulance came. They took grandpa away, and Anthony stayed in is room without realizing that it was all over. He didn’t have a single thought in his head. He was free now from that chore of keeping an eye on the old man, but he wasn't sure that that thought gave him a new sense of freedom. It all felt so bad, because he hadn't even found the time to talk to him when he had asked. He felt shocked that day, and on the next one a bitter realization came. Now Anthony would give anything to have the opportunity to read a newspaper out loud to his grandpa, or take a couple of bucks from him to buy candy, or even give him ten smartphones so that he could try to mend them.

Anthony felt horrible. Maybe he was exaggerating a bit, but who wouldn’t in his situation? Until one day when he was in his granddad’s room, he found his diary. There was nothing top secret in it, so he just browsed. He had written in huge letters what he he had been doing during those days spent in their family home. Then suddenly, Anthony spotted his name. It was such a good thing to have found that diary. It gave Anthony the feeling that maybe he wasn’t as nasty as he thought. He kept it, and from that moment on he decided to grow up into the man grandpa would want him to be.

Music by Epidemic Sound: https://www.epidemicsound.com

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