Am I A Boy Or A Girl? Even My Parents Can't Tell

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Hi, I'm George, I know it might sound like a boy's name- but I'm actually a girl!
It all started with my brother Harry back before I was even born. Sadly, he died in a car accident at the age of 3.
Then, 2 years after the accident my mom fell pregnant with me. Both of my parents longed to have a little boy to fill the gap that Harry had left them with.
So, when I was born a girl I imagine my parents must have been distraught. They christened me George Harry Hastings. Thinking back on it now I always had boys toys like action figures and water pistols. My parents never put me in pretty dresses or skirts, in fact, in all the pictures of me as a little kid I'm in Harry's old clothes. They also cut my hair short- like a boys. I guess friends and family found my parent's behavior odd as before I'd turned 2 we moved far away from everyone!
I was homeschooled during preschool and primary school. My house was my whole world, I had pirate themed wallpaper, even though I much preferred mermaids. At that point I really thought I was a boy and not even confused about gender differences.
Sometimes, the neighbor's son would come round for play dates. When I showed him my pirate ship collection, he told me that his little sister had a baby doll collection and she was so obsessed with it. He told me about all the dolls’ accessories, all the clothes that would be changed every 15-minutes, all the hairstyles that might take hours to be done…he thought girls were gross, but I was like hypnotized hearing about that. I loved everything she did more than any boring pirate ship I got. But when I told my parents, my mom instantly got upset, my dad got seriously angry and told me that boys would never be allowed to play with stuff like that. From then on, whenever that boy came around, I had to try my best to act like I thought boys should and told him I thought girls were gross!
Mom overheard me telling him that girls stank- she gave the biggest smile! I was pleased that I’d made her happy.
One time this boy and I were floating my pirate ships in the bathtub when he said he needed to pee. The toilet was right beside the bathtub so I could see him, well I didn’t want to, it was just something out of the corner of my eye that made me notice. The way he did it was so weird, he didn’t sit down but pulled something out of his pants.
I was so confused so I asked my dad, that was when I found out the truth. He sat me down and said, “That’s how boys actually do it in that situation, you and him are different, yes, you’re a girl, so don’t ever share a bathroom with anyone!” He then explained that my mom found it hard to deal with my brother’s death, especially as when I was born I reminded them so of Harry. So, I’m basically living in the shadow of my dead brother to please their feelings.
When I was 12, my parents had no choice but to send me to middle school as they didn’t approve the homeschool application. The morning of my first day at school dad dropped me off. Before I stepped out of the car he said: "you can't tell anyone you're a girl, or else!"
I was already terrified about pretending to be a boy in front of all my new classmates, without having dad threaten me too.
"I won't," I told him.
"Good George," he sighed. "Your mom needs this, she wouldn’t cope with losing her son again."
On my first day at school I had no idea how my parents could fake this, but no one knew I was really a girl. Even teacher called me her boy and gave me male school uniforms. I made friends with a boy named Darren and it wasn't long before we became pretty much inseparable. Being around him made me feel like a boy. Yeah, at times it was tricky, especially in the restrooms and changing rooms.
I obviously couldn't use the urinals and I always got changed in a cubicle so I didn't have to undress in front of the other boys.
I made up some excuse that I had a skin condition and didn't want the other kids to see it. None of the other kids ever said anything bad about this as they knew Darren would get mad at them.
My skin condition excuse got me out of swimming, thankfully!

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