CARDBOARD CRUISE SHIP SINKS: The wreck of the Cardboardia Majesty

Every Carboardia liner has sunk. In a horrifying admission today, the president of the Cardboardia line has admitted that every ship they have ever built has sunk. When asked to comment on the line’s safety record he said, “A boat will float if it weighs less than the amount of water it displaces, otherwise it sinks.” In a moment, a special report. Several years ago the Cardboardia line was formed to promote the use of cardboard as a building material for passenger liners. Cardboard is lightweight, strong and ... durable? The boats were fashioned out of recycled refrigerator packaging. The designers working with such a new material did not realize the tensile strength of cellulose fibre drops considerably when it comes in contact with water.
The Cardboard Majesty was the line's pride and joy when built. Every effort was made to make the ship the best of class. Every luxury was considered and then ignored. The interior was opulent beyond your Oscar Wildest dreams in only what can be described as post-elegant with the emphasis on the former. Interesting fact here: All Cardboardia’s ships have sunk on their maiden voyage and the ship tasked with exploring the wrecks also sank The wrecks lie in about two or three feet of water. Let’s say three ‘cause that’s about a metre. Security video shows the cause of the ship fire that precipitated the sinking started in the kitchen, next to the fireworks storage area.

Later a board of inquiry faulted the company for improper storage of sparklers and not having enough lifeboats which in fact were an afterthought and were only drawn on the side of the ship. Amazingly, underwater imaging shows the ships remain intact at the bottom making recovery easier. More amazing is that not a single passenger has been lost. PAUSE A special thanks to my new youtube buddy cowgirlchloe who posts these crazy videos. Hope you love it or I’ll take it down. Cards and links to your channel sweetie. And that’s the way it was on April first, I’m Allan Stokell. April fools!

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