The Story You Should Never Tell

Kindra Hall is a Storytelling Keynote Speaker, author and Expert.

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Read this Post: https://kindrahall.com/blog/story-never-tell
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I have to warn you… there is one story you should never tell: The story that makes you cry when you tell it. Now I’m not saying you shouldn’t tell an emotional story—you absolutely should—but there is a common misconception that if you, the presenter, get emotional during a story—you get weepy, shed a few tears—it means you did something right. The truth is, you couldn’t go more WRONG. Let me explain. First, why do you tell an emotional story? Is it because it makes YOU feel something? No! The reason you tell an emotional story or any story for that matter is for the AUDIENCE to benefit—so THEY can feel the emotion, so THEY can take the journey that leads them to the lesson you want to teach. It is a very good thing if your AUDIENCE cries, but if YOU start crying, you’ve ruined it. You ruin their journey—because they’re no longer thinking about their journey… they’re thinking about YOU. Wondering if you’re ok. Trying to SUPPORT you through your struggle instead of learning from your struggle themselves. With that first tear you turn your story from “important message” into “therapy session”… and YOU’RE the patient on the couch instead of the leader in front of the room. I cannot stress this enough. Crying in front of an audience shows a lack of control and is simply irresponsible. Got that? Ok. Now, let’s talk about how you can hold back your tears and tell an emotional story without breaking down. And really, there is one solution: repetition. You have to tell the story many, many times without an audience; to be sure you can make it through when it really counts. Say it out loud in the car, say it out loud in front of the mirror, say it out loud in the shower, say it out loud before you go to sleep at night. Then once you've said it to yourself, tell it to a friend, tell it to a group of friends. Call your mom and tell it to her. Then try it in a small group that is similar to the audience you’ll deliver the final product to… but let them know that they are your test group. This repetition is much like sandpaper on a ragged piece of wood—the telling and retelling will de-sensitize you just enough so when you get in front of a group, you don’t catch yourself on a splinter. Once you have told your emotional story to a variety of test groups and are able to make it all the way through without breaking down, congrats, your story is ready! And those who hear the story will better for hearing it. One last thing before I leave you—IF, even after all of this, after all of the telling in retelling, you happen to find yourself in the middle of a story and starting to get emotional, here’s your emergency action plan: First, Stop. Don’t say another word. Then take a deep breath. Look down at the ground, or up at the ceiling and take a minute to remind yourself who this story is for—it’s for them. It is not for you. You've already mastered this story, you've already mastered these emotions, you've already learned these lessons, which is why you need to get your listeners all the way to the end… so they can learn from you. I believe our best stories are the ones that are the most difficult to tell, but until you can tell it without shedding a tear, the story has to wait. The one story you should never tell in a formal setting is one that makes YOU cry. So get out those kleenexes, tell the story over and over until it’s all cried out, and I’ll look forward to hearing it when it’s ready! Until next time.

Видео The Story You Should Never Tell канала Kindra Hall