Once the Bible lost its authority over me, I began to embrace my autonomy - Sarah Louise Gross

T/W - brief discussion of the Children of God sex cult, multiple miscarriages, child abuse, child sexual abuse, severe depression, suicidal ideation

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Today I spoke with Sarah Louise Gross, who grew up on the overseas mission field and gave her life to Jesus at an early age, but ultimately deconverted as the Christian worldview fell apart.

We discussed many topics, including:

• Going on deputation with her parents to raise support for missions.
• Seeing her parents have a very bad marriage, despite being full-time missionaries.
• Experiencing culture shock when she came back to the US and went to Bob Jones, where the many freedoms she had experienced on the mission field.
• Being taught that self-care or doing things for yourself was selfish, and that your focus should be rewards in heaven, not here on earth.
• Having a very short courtship and engagement period due to not knowing how to live in the US and to avoid burning in lust.
• As a homeschooling mom, facing endless plates to juggle, and seeing mothers around her crumble and fall.
• Being pregnant and seeing her dad dying of cancer at the same time.
• In the Quiverful setting, facing intense pressure to have as many kids as possible.
• Hearing that preventing pregnancy was like a slap in god's face because it was trying to take his authority over our lives and bodies.
• Feeling very frustrated at church and moving to a "home church" model to see if it would work better for them.
• Getting involved briefly with Catholicism and realizing that Protestants had severely misrepresented what Catholics believe.
• Becoming increasingly frustrated at the dynamic of the Bible interpretation being very unclear and open to endless different interpretations.
• Seeing that the Yahweh character was portrayed as punishing people for things that were beyond their control.
• Seeing how spiritually and emotionally oppressed she had been by the patriarchal mindset, and how important it was to escape and reclaim her identity.
• How the church, and eventually Scripture, lost their façade of authority over her mind and life.
• Starting to embrace her own spiritual autonomy and confidence.
• Realizing how much she had been groomed and sheltered earlier in life.
• Experiencing more peace after deconversion than she ever had as a Christian.

Thanks to Sarah for sharing her story!

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**Correction to the video: the Children of God sex cult leader was David Berg, not Jim Berg.

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Hear one of Sarah's karaoke songs:

https://m.starmakerstudios.com/d/playrecording?app=sm&from_sid=62069756482&is_convert=true&pg_rf_ca_vn=275&recordingId=7318349456329025

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Tim may be reached by email at: harmonicatheist@yahoo.com

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--Tim
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Ending music by Eyal Raz, "Friends"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qbqNO6DdAQ
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Видео Once the Bible lost its authority over me, I began to embrace my autonomy - Sarah Louise Gross канала Harmonic Atheist