PARENTING with a MENTAL ILLNESS | Kati Morton

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I appreciate your videos Kati, but do you think you could reverse the roles and talk about being a parent with a mental illness? Kati, could you please do a video on how to be a good parent with severe mental illness? Many times the effects of having a parent with illness is talked about but there is limited education for parents on how to do their best to ensure their child is still able to have a secure attachment and healthy relationships.First I just want you all to know that if you have a mental illness you CAN have children. Many people asked questions about that, and of course you can! But just like any relationship or choice we make in life you need to be thoughtful about it and make sure that you are able to care for a child. A mental illness shouldn’t stop us from having a family, but it does come with the added task of managing our mental health too.
Now let’s get into this question and talk about how we can be amazing parents even if we have a mental illness.
First it’s important to actively engage in treatment - meaning take it seriously, keep your appointments, work your tools or techniques, and take your medication.
Work as a family - if you have the option work together as a family unit, so that if you are having an off day another member of the family can help out, and visa versa. Supporting each other cannot only make home life more stable for our children, but also more supportive for us managing our mental health.
Have outside support - whether that’s a support group, friends, family, whatever. Make sure you have a safe space to go to vent about all that may be going on.
Learn to prioritize. Every day is going to be different, but if we always know that our child and our mental health are our number 1 priority, it can make other issues more manageable or possibly ignorable. Reminding ourselves of what’s important can help us better navigate through every day setbacks.
Enroll your child in activities! I know it can be hard getting them to and from everything, but this gives them healthy outlets, gives them the chance to make friends, and be active.
Tend to your basic needs! HALT (Hungry angry lonely tired) make sure that if you are feeling sick or extra tired that you take care of yourself. Otherwise how can we care for someone else? Just making sure we are eating well, sleeping well and feeling okay physically can minimize any mental health issues that could pop up.
Create a safety plan! What should each member of the family do if you go into a manic episode? What if there is a suicide attempt? Put together a plan during a healthy and happy time with your therapist or psychiatrist and talk about it with your child and partner. Note what each person is supposed to do, who they should call, and leave it posted or in a place that’s easy to access if they forget.
Don’t be afraid to communicate about your mental illness to your child. Things are scarier when we don’t understand them, so make sure you let your child know what you are struggling with, and assure them that it’s not their fault. We know that when children aren’t given proper explanations, they make up things to fill in the blanks. Give them all they need, so that they don’t have to make it up. This is also a great way to let them know that mental health isn’t something to be scared to talk about. Try​ ​BetterHelp:​ http://tryonlinetherapy.com/katimorton
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I have launched a new tool to help you journal & stay motivated. I know getting started on our path to self care can be hard and sometimes sticking with it can be even more difficult. That’s why I created this tool! I’ll be sending you messages twice a week, and my hope is that this can help get you thinking and writing more easily, or possibly take your journaling in a new and helpful direction.
Let’s get started: I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!CONTACT
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PO Box #665
1223 Wilshire Blvd.
Santa Monica, CA 90403
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