Dating Don’ts | Text only relationships

Dating Don’ts | Text only relationships

What’s good youtube this video is about text only relationships.

I’m not sure how the hell we came to this but there seems to be a whole generation of people who are afraid to communicate verbally with one another. So many people have are having text only relationships. About a third of my emails come from women who haven’t even talked on the phone with the guy they are writing me about. Someone recently told me actually talking on the phone was so 90’s...as if it was an evolved statement or A higher consciousness. It’s not. People have lost the ability to not only relate to each other but communicate effectively in relationships.
They are devolving. The number 1 reason cited in divorce besides infidelity is communication. If people who have actually learned how to communicate with each other still fail in this area how much better will a couple that built their bond on emojis do when times get tough?

What’s the emoji for “I need more from you” or “sometimes it feels like you don’t love me” ? The ability to express your most intimate and personal thoughts with each other is what separates you as a couple from random people on the street outside of your relationship. Intimacy.

Texting is impersonal and distant. A relationship is about closeness and intimacy. If all y’all do is text each other y’all not boyfriend and girlfriend, y’all are penpals .lol. It’s a shame really.
We now have a generation of people coming up who are more afraid of talking on the phone with a stranger than having sex with one. Some of of y’all brave enough to lay down with men you don’t know who might have a dick disease but you can’t talk on the phone.

And on top of those dangers
So much is lost in translation with text messages. They don’t have tone, cadence, or mood. 90 percent of communication is nonverbal.....this includes facial expression posture attitude gestures body movements tone proximity smell and touch. Even someones aura. You take in information with all your senses.
I can’t tell y’all how many times I just felt someone’s energy in person without them saying a word and thought to mybself maan I dont fick with you. Or Something aint right about dude. Thats not just you feeling something wrong. It’s a result of non verbal communication. Information that you consciously or subconsciously gather about a person when you see them or even speak with them on the phone. All of these things are missing from text message only communication.

Text messages don’t express any of those things. You read and have to imagine all of these things and the voice that goes with it.

Because of that you develop the character they become. It’s the same process the minds takes when your read a book. The character development is largely left up to the reader as they finish the unknown parts of the story with their own imagination. The author sets the framework but you create the scene in your mind.
On top of that people have the tendency like authors to create a new version of themselves through text message only relationships. That’s because they have the freedom and time to think about the perfect response to everything. They aren’t being their the total self.

Don’t lose me here but ...there’s a concept referred to as impression management. That basically means the strategies people use to control how others view them.(google erving goffman facework)

People have a private self and public self. The private self is the person you believe yourself to be. It’s also the part of you that keeps your secrets. Your negative thought and unpopular opinions. It also hides your wicked ways.

The pubic self or presenting self is your public persona. It’s how you want to be seen by others. This is the socially approved version of yourself that you present. Supposed good person or caring spouse etc. Because so much context is lost in text messaging you may only be getting to know a guys public self, and this is dangerous. In talking on the phone or spending time around a person you began to discover their more unfavorable characteristics through so many of those other nonverbal cues. If your just sharing text messages you don’t have a chance.
How many times have y’all watched catfish and the person said “ omg they were so different in person” Thats because when they meet the person for the first time they are being bombarded with all this new information about them that they had previously imagined incorrectly. Thats what text message relationships are. A guessing game. And there is almost no way to guess accurately.
people often break up or stop talking shortly after they meet each other following a text message based build up. Because the fantasy doesn’t match the reality and they don’t recognize each other.

Видео Dating Don’ts | Text only relationships канала Kev Hick