How To Argue Like A Gentleman - Argument Etiquette + Debate, Fight & Confrontation DO's & DON'Ts

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How a person argues strikes right at the heart of a person's character. Arguments, disagreements, and confrontations will naturally make people uncomfortable, and discomfort tends to bring out buried or instinctive responses that reveal one's true nature.

In 1727, Benjamin Franklin organized the Leather Apron Club. The men in the club came from a number of different backgrounds as well as degrees of education and success. To join the group, one had to answer the following questions correctly:

- Do you have disrespect for any current member?
- Do you love mankind in general regardless of religion or profession?
- Do you feel people should ever be punished because of their opinions or mode of worship?
- Do you love and pursue truth for its own sake?

Why Is It So Hard to Have a Productive Argument?

The belief that a person is entitled to have an opinion, unchallenged, no matter what it is. People who challenge other people's opinions can be seen as disrespectful rather than earnest.

Due to this "opinion protectionism" many people cut themselves off from any discussion because there is "nothing to discuss". They've already made up their mind, which they see as the only purpose for engaging in a conversation about it.

Opinions and beliefs can be quite personal so it can be difficult to not take questioning and criticism personally

Competition is valued more than substance or growth; the goal is to "win" and compromise is stigmatized as "losing"

Traditional masculinity demands that men show no weakness, which is both restrictive and outdated

Now, how do you argue with a spouse?

When you have a partner in life, there will always be arguments because, at the end of the day, you're different people, you have different points of views, and not having any arguments is a sign of an unhealthy relationship.

So in those situations, the need to constantly win can really have a long term damaging effect. So keep in mind that it's not always you who has to be right but you have to be open that the other person is right as well, that you give it to them and you admit that.

Don't just brush concerns of your significant other aside or disengage and walk away or maybe pout. It's important to keep a dialogue going and to be honest and open until you resolve the issue and you both forgive each other or admit the other person's position or continue in a meaningful way.

Don't bring up threats like I'm going to divorce you or I'm going to leave you or anything of that kind in an argument because that is designed to shut down the conversation right then and there which actually does not solve the issue, it just stops the discussion and the resolution.

Don't bring up past transgressions or past fights that were already resolved.

Don't exaggerate actions of your spouse or the partner in your argument because that will just enrage them more and it will be more emotionally charged.

Also, don't offer a fake apology or be sarcastic because that will immediately shut down the conversation. A good thing to keep in mind is rather than criticizing the person, criticize the action.

In conclusion, to argue like a gentleman, it's one of the most difficult things to do because it means that you have to be vulnerable, you have to accept that you can be wrong, you have to admit that your opinions are maybe not always right, you have to listen to others and you have to keep the conversation going. This is particularly difficult in a society where winning or weakness as a man is considered as bad but in the long term, if you do those things, if you are tolerant, open minded, and respectful of others, you will get respect back.

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Видео How To Argue Like A Gentleman - Argument Etiquette + Debate, Fight & Confrontation DO's & DON'Ts канала Gentleman's Gazette