Pony Town build inspo | TW: aesthetic !!

me when my irl friend replaces me because I didn’t give her a free grade ! imagine being mad at me for doing all the work(aka finishing the poster), and asking the bare minimum of effort to do something and show that you care. like wow, I even offered to give you money to print out the map(when I already used my money for the paper etc) even though you have money for eyeliner and vaping but okay ! why do I even try at this point. at least I got a 100% on the presentation because i slayed(presented myself and idk guess she has to do everthing from scratch herself). also shout out to everyone else who leaves me. I feel like im trying my best but its not good enough. surely it has to be my fault, right? why cant they just say whats wrong with me. “noo youre so kind its fine”. yet I’m still always picked last, nobody wanted me in their PE group. why am i not good enough. why must i shut down when i get upset, i wish i could tell them how i feel without telling them. but they will never realise. (talking about someone here -) why do you complain that nobody likes you when you put in 0 effort to be likeable? you knew how much it would mean to me to just have you say happy birthday. it doesnt matter if you dont say it to anyone if they dont mind, but you know how much it would mean to me. why couldnt you put in the effort to remember and care. you have no right to complain you have nobody. maybe they deserve to hear it. i wish someone could tell me the same because i always feel like a victim too. its a bit unfair i think. now they havent talked to me in like 2 months, even though they called us friends. what a one sided friendship when they never even messaged me to why i left the server ! maybe i dont deserve anyone yet. maybe noone deserves me. i dont want to hurt anyone. im so angry at everything and i dont know what to do. it all hurts and its not worth it anymore. i feel like a terrible person. i dont feel safe anywhere. in a constant state of panic. im not even wanted in my own discord server. i feel so guilty. why am i not allowed to correct people on my character? why is it bad to want your design to be right. maybe you wouldnt have to correct it if you took the time to put care into the art and draw the character youre drawing right ! (sometimes people forget something and that ok, it usually just takes a second to correct something) oh wait but i didnt pay you to draw it ? surely that means its not open to not only critisism, but correction ! like omg just because i want my character correctly represented does not mean i dont appreciate it. the only time ive ever asked to change something specifically was the background so it matches with my channel feel better as i wanted to use it as a pfp. i asked politely. i dont actively nitpick certain details that i do not like(only case is for coral because i want to use it for my channel so its important it looks good and most importantly, is my accurate character ?? like omg if you hate me nitpicking can just plsss draw with a ref or something omg. im sorry im hard to work with. you can just not draw for me anymore and not be a channel artist, i dont want to pressure you. i feel so guilty. im sorry) we all have our own art style and thats what makes me love fanart so much - how one character can be drawn so diverse. it makes me feel so special to receive pretty art. thank you so much. i just appreciate it way more when my oc is drawn right. i dont feel like im in the wrong here. sure, i can just say…nothing anymore. but really nice to be put on the spot and completely embarassed, making me feel like a crappy person. maybe i am just a terrible person. plus, real nice of people to not respond to my vents when im upset so now i do it in my video description lmaoooo this is already 4k letters i think im actually insane. gotta love how i cant vent in neither my server or dms. literally omg just tell me to kms that would be more thoughtful. girl i dont think anybody is gonna read this whole mess lol. i need therapy.

not doing well

discord server: https://discord.gg/7cQuXYMk32

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