I'm Married But I Have Feelings For Someone Else | Married But in Love With Another

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A client of mine came to me because she was married but she had feelings for someone else and didn't know what to do. Should she act on her feelings or try to suppress them? Coach Adrian talks about a topic that is difficult but that's absolutely essential.

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In some ways they wanted to follow their heart and to try to explore the potential relationship that that could be. At the same time their head was telling them not to go that route. They were afraid to hurt their kids, they were afraid to hurt their families and friends and they reached out wanting to know what to do if you have feelings while married. Should you act on those feelings or should you perhaps try to suppress them?

The answer was none of the above. It's absolutely essential for you to take a step back and to remember why you chose to commit yourself to this partner of yours. Relationships are hard.

You will be tested continuously. Sooner or later you're going to find yourself in a position where you're distracted if you don't continuously nurture the plant. Instead of trying to make this person feel guilty I tried to help them analyze how we got to where we got. Why did they find themselves attracted to someone else instead of investing their time effort and love into creating the relationship that they really wanted with their significant other?

It became clear that they had neglected each other. They were both focused on career and on kids and they were living parallel lives while living under the same roof. They had opened a breach where another man could come and provide this woman with attention that she so desperately craved.

She wasn't so much in love or having feelings with someone else as much as she was in love with the attention that she was all of a sudden getting. She quickly realized that it was possible for her to get her husband to give her that attention if she went about it the right way, if she trusted in her marriage and in this person the way that she did in the early stages of their relationship.

You're going to go through different seasons and you will be tested and challenged in different ways and unless you take the time to nurture your relationship on a weekly basis, take time to not worry about the kids or their job or the bills or your parents or your pets and just focus on being with each other, on reconnecting both in a physical and intimate way, but also just as friends. I see too many couples who stopped being friends and who are just basically partners on their life journeys

Don't feel guilty if you have feelings for someone else while married. It doesn't make you a bad person. But it does basically convey the fact that you need protect yourself and your relationship and your marriage along the way. Not all relationships are meant to be salvaged but you need to make sure that you do everything possible before ending your relationship.

Otherwise you may be filled with remorse and regret.
My advice to you if you find yourself having feelings for someone else while married is to take a step back, to distance yourself from this other person that has become a distraction, and to do everything possible to work on your marriage, to create that happiness and to create the relationship that you want with the person that you've committed your life to. It's the only way to experience deeper and deeper and deeper feelings of love. The distractions, the honeymoon phase will never fulfill you.

Either way you have a lot of courage for seeking answers, for trying to do the right thing. I believe that you have it in you to do the right thing

We've helped for many years couples who were going through breakups get back together. It seems that after they got back together our journey with a lot of clients had ended only to find out later that they were going through yet another separation. That is why we created Happily Committed, to be of support every step along the way.

Relevant for this video:
having feelings for someone else while married ; cheating ; relationship advice ; marriage ; relationship ; affair ; infidelity ;

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