Living with Depression - Electra

Chapter one - Depression

Depression for me is when everything is back and dark i can't save myself from my demons in my head when i try so hard you can't do anything more than lie in the bed and blame yourself for everything. You want too do what you love but your demons tell you there is no reason to wake up and clean your home even if you know you have too..
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Chapter two - Anxiety

Anxiety is not something you can laugh or joke away do you think i like the knot i feel in my stomach? no i hate how it grows bigger and bigger but what can i do? many say to me if something bother me i should talk about it but it is not easy for someone with trust issues too just open up to anyone. Trust me i wish i could just open up but i can't beacuse i am scared of so many things i can't even put this text how i want it.. My brain just tell me "Oh this is crap" "None is going to read this crap" "Do you really think you can type all this without someone judge?". I work as hard as i can but sometimes it feels like i am not good enough.
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Chapter three - Panicattack

I live with panicattacks almost everyday and i can't seem to calm sdown from this panic always scerd of what peopleis going to say so you shut your mouth so you won't say anything you later regret, I can't seem to talk my way out from this and i really wanna be free from my Panic attack but at the same time i am scared of what is coming so i keep holding on too this feeling when i know it is unhealthy for me.

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Chapter Four - Selfharm (TW)

I have so many scars on my body and i look at them while i type this ansd feel how my pain is growing stronger and stronger but i try to fight beacuse i know i have things too live for but at the same time i wanna give up and spread my wings so i can fly forever but how can i? when i have my partner and cat? no that would not me fair too them.. but my demons keep telling me i should do it, everyday is a fight.
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Chapter Five - Socialphobia

For as long i can remember i have lived with socialphopia wich means i can't take the bus without music or get out at all without my music i get exhuasted for the little things that many can do but i can't, I try everyday to work on it but it is becoming harder too do that and too fight this sh*t alone is hard i wish someone could help me to over come my fear.
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Chapter Six - Insomnia

The time passes by and before i know it the time is long over midnight and i find myself still wake and can't seem to sleep beacuse all my though's and energy go to my demons, i try to read a book too destract myself but that not helping so i get up and try to watch a movie but that movie ends next one but still i am awake i really hate this crap..
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Chapter Seven - Hurting family / Partner

When i am at my worst i can open my mouth and say that i want to end it all but the worst part is when i talk to my partner and i hurt them more than i can stand i hate when the demons take over and i don't even think of what i say or do.. why can't they just leve me alone?! and f*ck off? when all i want is to live my life where i was happy and nothing more, But no that is to hard when my demons take over.
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Видео Living with Depression - Electra канала Electra FH