The secret to high self esteem | How to feel better about yourself | Kev Hick

You are as great as you decide to be. With that said people will believe about you whatever you appear to believe about yourself. Notice something, both of these ideas put the emphasis on you. What you think. What you believe. When the inward man speaks the outward man listens.

Often times the people who lack self confidence don’t understand the gravity and weight of the key word self. They live their lives afraid of what people might say. I amazes me how much validation one might give to another’s uninformed opinion of them. They certify the thoughts and judgments of other random people about them as truth. Once they’ve qualified the unqualified they exist many times frozen in fear, just trying to duck dodge the judgment of others.
I remember in the 90’s all these people started getting tattoos that said only God can judge me. I’m sure the tattoos were inspired by Tupac but he wasn’t the first person who said it. I noticed that generally the people who lived the sketchiest lives go these tattoos. Rebels. And people who many times were or had lived lives that they themselves weren’t proud of. Anyway I just couldn’t help but think. Getting that tattoo seems to be a lot of work to convince yourself that you don’t care about the opinions of others. Truly confident people don’t give a fuck enough about the thoughts that other people have about them to even try to send them a message. Why tattoo a message for them. Fuck them. And they. And he. And she.

It was then I realized that people who take issue with the judgment of others often have problems with judging themselves. The mask of shame is often rebellion. We fear the opinions that seem to confirm our insecurities. Truthful insults are the ones that hurt the most. The bad things we already thought about ourselves being said by someone else can totally obliterate our self esteem. Some for a day or lowly moment. Others for a lifetime.
It’s not when they think badly of you but when you think badly of you that makes judgment, criticism and insults so destructive.

Self esteem is the result of being in agreement with yourself. They key to self esteem is doing things every day that you can be proud of. Living a life that you can be proud of. Until you’re proud of yourself.

So many people do nothing of substance with their days and wonder why they don’t feel better about themselves. You can’t change the way you feel if you don’t change the way you live. Change your day to day habits. You can’t live your life day after day with a tv show being the only thing you look forward to. We aren’t just here to work pay bills and die. We have a purpose.


Self esteem is earned but not in the traditional sense. It’s earned by making sure you are good enough for you. And not anyone else.
If you had a favorite tv show you would argue at least in your mind with anyone who didn’t like it. For some reason or another people can’t seem to guve themselves that same amount of loyalty.
To be honest I’ve met way to many people who thought about killing themselves just because someone else didn’t think they were worthy.

When I ask them what do you think about you they can’t even answer the question. Or they just regurgitate whatever insults about themselves they’ve heard from the small minded people around them. People who’s goal is to shrink their self esteem in the first place. People who often times aren’t even worth or credible enough to judge anyone else.
People with mental health disorders and self esteem issues themselves.

It’s like when sick people cough and don’t cover their mouths. Pretty soon the people who spend the mist time with them are sick too. Mental and emotional health sometimes work in the same way. But instead of an airborne pathogen they cough out self doubt, negative self talk, hatred, abuse, uninformed opinions about you, judgement, condemnation, and other shit that lives in them.
Shit they will infect you with if you stand too close. Self hate is a disease that gets passed around like the flu. For some of you self esteem can be found by removing the mentally sick and abusive people from your life. Cut the toxic person off.
Recently a lady which will remain anonymous wrote me about a guy. As Thousands have. And in that email although it didn’t have much to do with her questions she inadvertently revealed her insecurities about her body and her career and finances. And maybe in an attempt to avoid being judged for having mentioned her weight insecurities she said, well don’t worry I love and accept my body. Later in the email she mentioned her weight again. Neither time was her weight relevant to the story. She was asking me about a man when she had a much larger issue on her hands.....continued

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