The MIRROR Principle: Business Coaching Examples of External-Internal Barrier Connections

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The MIRROR Principle: Business Coaching Examples of External-Internal Barrier Connections

External barriers often mirror our internal fears and limitations. Through a real-life coaching example, we illustrate how perceived external obstacles, such as a stingy employer, can reflect internal barriers like the fear of resentment. Learn how to shift focus from blaming circumstances to addressing internal challenges to unlock resourcefulness and achieve goals.
A lot of times coaching clients point to outside barriers and forces that seem to stop them from achieving their goal. But many times I find that the very barrier that they point to on the outside has a direct relationship with their own internal barriers. What I mean is that the thing that they're blaming for their lack of progress on the outside is actually also.

Something that is stopping them on the inside. For example, a client I coached recently was pointing to her employer Stinginess for the reason why she couldn't start a particular service within her business. She claimed that it just wasn't profitable enough for them, so they didn't care enough to do it.

So I asked her, well, why don't you and your team just go ahead and give your time for free so your employer doesn't have to pay? And then she said, because I've done that before. And then I got resentful that very same stinginess that she blamed her employer for. Was living inside her as an internal barrier, just masquerading as her fear of feeling resentment.

So when your client complains that they just don't have the right situation to allow them to succeed, very seldom is that the case. Instead of discussing their circumstances over and over again, look for their internal barrier, it's usually causing a lack of resourcefulness in your client.

In the journey of personal and professional growth, many individuals often encounter obstacles that seem to hinder their path to success. However, during coaching sessions, a recurring theme that emerges is the tendency to point toward external barriers as the primary reason for stagnation. While these outside forces might indeed pose challenges, a deeper exploration often reveals a more profound connection with internal barriers that play an equally significant role in stalling progress.

Understanding the Inside-Out Barrier Relationship

Clients frequently identify elements such as uncooperative colleagues, lack of resources, or unfavorable market conditions, believing these factors alone are responsible for their lack of advancement. Yet, in many cases, there's an intrinsic link between these external challenges and the internal limitations that reside within the individual. Essentially, the issues perceived in their external environment often mirror unresolved internal conflicts or fears.

To illustrate, let’s consider a client who recently approached me with concerns about her employer’s reluctance to invest in a new service within her business. She attributed her inability to launch this service to what she described as their stinginess, claiming it wasn’t seen as profitable enough to warrant their attention.

From External Blame to Internal Insight

When faced with such a scenario, I posed a simple question: "Why don’t you and your team take the initiative to proceed without expecting immediate financial support?" Her response was telling: "I've tried that before, and I ended up feeling resentful." This acknowledgment highlighted that the very stinginess she blamed externally was paralleled by an internal concern—her fear of repeating past experiences of resentment.

This internal barrier, cloaked in the guise of an external obstacle, highlighted a critical point: often, the external issues used to justify our stagnation are closely tied to internal fears, anxieties, or self-imposed limitations.

Shifting Focus to Internal Resourcefulness

When clients incessantly emphasize external conditions as the hindrance to success, it is seldom the entire picture. Rather than perpetually revisiting these outer circumstances, it’s more productive to identify and address the internal barriers at play. By doing so, individuals can harness a greater sense of resourcefulness.

Understanding and overcoming these internal barriers can lead to a newfound ability to adapt and respond positively to deficiencies in external resources. This shift in perspective—seeing challenges as opportunities for internal growth—can transform perceived limitations into catalysts for personal development and ultimate success.

So... The next time you find yourself attributing a lack of progress to external factors, pause to reflect on the internal dialogues that might be influencing your perspective. By recognizing and dismantling these internal barriers, a more empowered approach to tackling external challenges emerges, fueling your journey toward achieving your goals.

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