The President is Being Manipulated By His Ex - SOUTH PARK

In a last-ditch effort to save his dad, Kyle calls the President and confronts him about his weakness.
"Not Funny" S20

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#SouthPark #SouthParkS20

INT. PENTAGON - DAY
Same wide establishing of panic and chaos. Garrison is
sitting in a chair eating ice cream when the two generals
walk up.
GENERAL 1
Mr. President the bombers are en
route to Europe.
GENERAL 2
Are you SURE you want to proceed
with this.
MR. GARRISON
(eating ice cream)
Yeah yeah bomb the shit out of them,
we have to be tough here.
A solider steps in.
SOLDIER
Mr. President?! The Grand Duke of
Luxembourg is on line one, the
chairman of the Workers Party is on
line two and KYLE is on line three.
MR. GARRISON
Oh geez what does KYLE want?
Same cut in time to the the same phone.
MR. GARRISON
This is the President.
Kyle is standing in his room with Ike in the background.
KYLE
Mr. Garrison, you can't bomb
Denmark!
MR. GARRISON
Oh for Pete's sake Kyle-
KYLE
It's WRONG and it could start a
bigger war-
MR. GARRISON
Kyle, this is all very serious
diplomatic stuff, ok? You can't
understand the political
complexities involved here.
KYLE
I understand you're a dipshit little
gay puppet.
MR. GARRISON
EXCUSE me?
KYLE
Letting your ex-boyfriend manipulate
you cuz you miss his sweet ass.
MR. GARRISON
Who told you THAT?
KYLE
Everyone knows that. You only do
what your little bitch boyfriend
manipulates you into doing.
MR. GARRISON
Kyle, I am the PRESIDENT.
KYLE
You're a little DIPSHIT president.
IKE
With a dirty asshole.
KYLE
With a dirty asshole.
IKE
And you shit out your dick.
KYLE
And you shit out your dick.
(covering phone)
Where'd you learn to talk like this??
IKE
Daddy!
MR. GARRISON
Oh that's what people think huh?
Well maybe I WON'T bomb Denmark,
what do you think about that?!
KYLE
Yeah you will cuz you're a little
retarded shit bitch.
MR. GARRISON
GOD FUCKIN' DAMMIT!
Garrison throws down the phone and heads back into the
room.
MR. GARRISON
HOLD UP! HOLD UP ON THE FUCKING BOMBS A MINUTE!

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