Men Don't Fall In Love With Perfect Women... But Rather...

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Men don’t fall in love with perfect women, they fall in love with real women.

Hey it’s D. Shen here the founder of Commitment Triggers and Shen Wade Media where we teach you how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from men.

Did you ever watch that movie back in the 90's with Richard Gere and Julia Roberts – Pretty Woman? (If you haven’t, it’s definitely worth your time)
If you have seen it… then let me ask you a simple question.
Why (or more specifically… HOW) did a high status and rich lawyer (Richard Gere) end up falling in love with a woman who sells her body for a living and apparently didn’t have any “class”, any education, or the other characteristics that society tells us we should have?
Perhaps love is blind? Or perhaps there are other factors at play here?

Let me come back to what the answer is a bit later on.

Here’s something interesting thing about men falling in love...

In all my research into why men and women fall in love, I've come across some very interesting and surprising discoveries.
For example… men tend to fall in love within hours of meeting a woman. In other words, the biological process of falling in love for a man, happens rather quick.

We’re talking about the cascade of dopamine, oxytocin and vasopressin in the brain but let’s not get too geeky here.

What this really means for you, is that when it comes to dating, the first few hours or the first few interactions are probably the most important.

This doesn’t mean a romance couldn’t ensue later down the track, it is just to demonstrate the speed in which “falling in love” occurs.

Another thing I have found interesting is this, the more effort you put into wanting someone to like you, the less likely they will fall in love with you.
So ironic huh?

I believe one of the biggest roadblocks to romance is our need and desire to be perfect. It is our desire to be “enough” that is causing us much of the pain and suffering.

If I could only just be enough...
If I could just be tall enough, pretty enough, thin enough, smart enough… perhaps then I am worthy of love, perhaps then I’ll find that man who loves me, perhaps then he won’t leave me again…
Even though we all theoretically and intellectually know that nobody in this world is perfect, we still chase after this idea of “perfection”.

And look, there’s nothing wrong with chasing perfection. It is, by all means a “good” thing.

An artist chases perfection and takes their art to a whole new realm.

An athlete chases perfection and sets a new standard for the rest of the world.

A designer chases perfection and creates a brand new paradigm of thinking.
However… (And this is a BIG however…)

When it comes to love and romance, the pursuit of perfection is perhaps your biggest enemy.

That's right... the pursuit of perfection kills love.
Because for as long as you’re trying to be perfect, you can’t be fully engaged with a man. You can’t fully be present and “fall” into the moment.
You can’t feel the subtle emotions that are required for romance and passion to exist.

You’re simply too busy in your own head being caught up with this idea of perfection.

(Remember perfectionists aren’t really happy people)

So men simply don’t fall in love with perfect women.
In order to fall deeply in love, a man has to be able to relate to you. It’s hard to relate to someone when they’re stuck in their own head - when we try to be perfect, we really are stuck in our own head.

So if you feel like you have to strive towards something, strive towards being imperfect.
Julia Roberts wasn’t trying to be perfect in Pretty Woman. She was as imperfect as it gets… just like you and I deep down inside.

Men fall in love with imperfect women, because these women are real.
I know what you’re thinking… But don’t all the “perfect women” get all the attention?

Yes and no.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmPwTwf_or0

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