8 Tips on How to form Meaningful Friendships as a Couple! Is THIS a True Secret to Passion?

Sometimes old friends you had when you were single or maintaining primarily family as the source of your interactive needs a couple isn't enough. After a certain age, familial friendships can serve to 'keep you in your rightful place' rather than help you grow. As a couple, the most helpful and nurturing individuals will discover will be a part of mature couples with common goals and interests. Their level of healthy interaction is important for your growth both individually and relationally as well. Couple friends can also serve as a barometer for your own relationship. Over the years, as a mother and wife, I have found my most supportive relationships to be those who have had common goals. Those who have built successful businesses (and the struggles that came at the end or along the way) with interest in academia, children, an aversion to social media (though this will be ultimately posted ther, go figure) as well as those who enjoy outward expressions of love with lower levels of cynicism. Couples with heightened expressions of love that exercise health and wellness have been some of our greatest finds. Geoffrey Greif, Ph.D, spoke to more than 400 men and women. They found that subjects said they could learn from other couples as models for behaviors they both liked and disliked. Hanging out with other couples often sparked reflection and discussion among couples about their own relationships, Examples include comments such as “Let’s never do that,” and “Wow, did you notice that when they started to disagree about something, they handled it this way?”

The authors of another study published in 2014 found that the creation of couple friendships may also be a way to reignite feelings of passionate love in romantic relationships that tend to fade over time, says lead author Keith Welker Ph.D., a social psychologist at the University of Massachusetts, Boston.Passionate love, Welker notes, doesn’t just refer to sexual desire. “It also means constantly thinking about the other person and just being really excited about them,” he says. In their second study, Welker and his team saw that the responsiveness of people’s partners had a significant impact on the effects of interacting with other couples." Another factor might be that it means something to see your partner behave in a caring way toward you in front of other people,” he says.Welker and his colleagues asked approximately 150 couples to interact with each other through getting-to-know-you exercises. The couples who were directed to discuss personal things with other couples, like the last time they cried or their most embarrassing memories, felt more passionate love toward their partners than couples who engaged in mundane small talk.
Men and women are most likely to become romantically involved at a stage in their lives where they are breaking dependent emotional ties with their families and experiencing a sense of separateness and independence. As they reach out and risk more of themselves emotionally, they tend to attract others with their vitality and enthusiasm. In the first stages of the relationship, they tend to let down their defenses and be open and vulnerable.

While this state of being in love is volatile and exciting, at the same time it can be frightening. The fear of loss or abandonment as well as the poignant sadness often evoked by positive emotions may become difficult to tolerate, especially for those who have suffered from a lack of love in their early lives. Causing individuals to choose toxic relationships yet champion them as meaningful and healthy.
By the time most people reach adulthood, they have solidified their defenses and exist in a psychological equilibrium that they do not wish to disturb. Family opinions and concepts are held to a higher standard than "growth". Although they may be relatively congenial with more casual acquaintances, there is a deterioration in friendly and respectful feelings as a relationship becomes more meaningful and intimate, because the new love object now threatens to disrupt this balance by penetrating their basic defenses.This is the antithesis of a healthy personal relationship where individuals are free to express their real feelings and desires.
There are a number of steps that individual partners can take to break into the fantasy bond they have formed with each other. “We found that the kind of interaction really mattered,” Welker says. “The couples paired with other couples to do boring tasks together didn’t report an increase in passionate love or relationships satisfaction. It was the emotional topics that did create a really quality interaction.”

It explains why people in relationships can seem to transfer the feeling of arousal or excitement from spending time with another couple onto their partner.

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