Indisputably Most Epic Christmas Song Theoretically Attainable in the Observable Universe

Because i came for the winter holidays but stayed for the Christmas. Because i ran out of slides. Because i don’t know any girl friends willing and/or able to sing the high parts. Because the horimono on the sword costs more than the sword itself and the editing of this sad attempt of a song is infinitely more meritable. Because you will find your answers if you google “season’s greetings capitalisation”. Because it was the man’s duty, not his choice—see his face showed no joy—to have a SMASHINGLY epic Christmas. “Because those who (get offended) don’t matter; and the ones that matter don’t (get offended).” Because it’s fun to scream (screw autotune). Because in my country there is a saying: “A man who wears a tall hat is rich. But a man who wears two hats can get lucky!”

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