Funniest Technology Stand Up Comedy Jokes | Jim Gaffigan

Here are my funniest standup comedy jokes about technology. Starting with my dad leaving messages on my answering machine all the way to Chinese toilets! Enjoy!

PALE TOURIST is NOW streaming on Amazon.

:00 - Answering Machine
:36 - Leaving Voice Messages
:58 - Email
2:14 - Spell Check
3:05 - Remote Control
4:03 - Escalator & Moving Sidewalk
7:13 - Digital Photos
9:29 - Cord Cutters
10:20 - Landline
11:46 - Elevators
12:32 - Talking on the Phone
13:11 - Japanese Toilet
13:59 - Chinese Toilet

BEST of / FUNNIEST COMPILATION
Animals https://bit.ly/AnimalsCompilation
Fast Food https://bit.ly/FastFoodCompilation
Jesus https://bit.ly/JesusComp
Clothing http://bit.ly/JGClothingCompilation
Donuts https://bit.ly/JGDonuts
Stores http://bit.ly/JGStores
Catholic http://bit.ly/JGCatholic
Drinking https://youtu.be/KiP1RYhZRHM
Disney https://youtu.be/w-veCNXX5OQ
Japan https://youtu.be/LGVLWHMlXOI
Fish https://youtu.be/2nrMAiWmxQQ
Cheese https://youtu.be/r7_N32RtF04
Heaven & Hell https://youtu.be/Zd9nRJ3t3lY
TV https://youtu.be/wQQX4UrqqQo
Desserts https://youtu.be/OQ1XN6BgZqw
Holidays https://youtu.be/owGQ99_x-yg
Birthdays https://youtu.be/lyHR0X_2kNg

OUR MASSIVE PLANET https://youtu.be/Y268PXp_-_I

HEALTHY & HAPPY Gardening
INTRO https://bit.ly/HappyandHealthy1
CORN https://bit.ly/HappyandHealthyCorn

THE PALE TOURIST
Asian American (Full Set) https://bit.ly/JGAsianAmerican
Florida Man (Full Set) https://bit.ly/JGFloridaMan
Ontario vs Quebec https://bit.ly/JGOntario
Superstitions https://bit.ly/JGSuperstition
Tourists https://bit.ly/JGTourist
Halifax Donair https://bit.ly/JGDonair
Rodeo https://bit.ly/JGRodeo
Drake Story https://bit.ly/JGDrake

QUALITY TIME
Marathons https://bit.ly/JGMarathons
Horses https://bit.ly/JGHorses
Appendix https://bit.ly/JGAppendix
Museums https://bit.ly/JGMuseum

NOBLE APE
My Wife's Brain Tumor https://bit.ly/JGBrainTumor
Massages https://bit.ly/JGMassage
Pope https://bit.ly/JGPope
UK vs US https://bit.ly/JGUSAvCanada

CINCO
Morning Person https://bit.ly/JGMorning
Steak is Manly https://bit.ly/JGSteak
Hiking https://bit.ly/JGHiking
Idiot Abroad https://bit.ly/JGIdiotAbroad
Easier to be a Guy https://bit.ly/JGBeaGuy
Big Family https://bit.ly/JGBigFamily

OBSESSED
Weddings https://bit.ly/JGWeddingsyay
Victoria's Secret https://bit.ly/JGSecret
Can't Stop Eating https://bit.ly/JGstopeating

MR. UNIVERSE
Vitamins https://bit.ly/JGVitamins
Whales https://bit.ly/JGWhales
Fitness Goals https://bit.ly/JGFitnessGoals
Home Birth https://bit.ly/JGHomebirth
Big Family https://bit.ly/3a6HW0L

KING BABY
Camping https://bit.ly/JGCamping
Bacon https://bit.ly/JGBacon

BEYOND THE PALE
Hot Pockets https://bit.ly/JGHotPocket
Doing Nothing https://bit.ly/JGDoingNothing
Out To Dinner https://bit.ly/JGOutToDinner
Cake https://bit.ly/JGCakes
Vegetarian https://bit.ly/JGVegetarian

SUPER OLD
Manatee https://bit.ly/JGManatee
Glasses https://bit.ly/JGGLasses

MERCH Proceeds donated to ThelmagineSociety.org https://tinyurl.com/y5fwmpb2

LETS GET COOKIN' World’s Favorite Quarantine Cooking Show
Toast https://bit.ly/JGToast
Burger https://bit.ly/JGBurger
Pork https://bit.ly/JGPork
Hotdog & Eggs https://bit.ly/JGHotDogs
Pizza https://bit.ly/JGPizzaLGC
Hot Dog Fest https://bit.ly/JGHotDogFest
Meatball Parm https://bit.ly/JGMeatball
Peas & Corn https://bit.ly/JGPeasandCorn
Mikey Takes Over https://bit.ly/JGMikey
Oatmeal Soup https://bit.ly/JGOatmeal
Chicken Fillet https://bit.ly/JGChickenFilet
Bacon Wrapped Steaks https://bit.ly/JGBaconWrapped

THE MIKE & PAT SHOW: (next Pewdiepie or Roblox addicts challenge)
Daddy Dog https://bit.ly/JGDaddyDog
Hot Pocket https://bit.ly/JGMPHotPocket
Spaghettios https://bit.ly/JGSPaghettios
Liverwurst https://bit.ly/JGLiverwust
Twinkies https://bit.ly/JGTwinkies
Vegemite https://bit.ly/JGVegimite
Garden Veggies https://youtu.be/8MG690faVUc

My Kids React my 1st Stand Up TV Spot https://youtu.be/GZF2H_QbFtg
My Kids React my 1st 1/2 hr Special https://youtu.be/BrkuzMkU9J8

DINNER WITH THE GAFFIGANS nightly 6pm E. Watch past episodes click JOIN & become MEMBER. Fee (99 cents) donated to TheImagineSociety.org.

JIM EATS THE WORLD (mukbang asmr local food)
St.Louis Pizza https://bit.ly/JimEatsTheWorld
KC BBQ https://bit.ly/JGKCBBQ
Garbage Plate https://bit.ly/JGGarbagePlate
Polish Boy https://bit.ly/JGPolishboy
Colombia https://bit.ly/JGColombia
Paella https://bit.ly/JGPaella

PALE FORCE
Season 1 https://tinyurl.com/yxzyk5ws
Season 2 https://youtu.be/SjkOx2Tp8RQ

CORONAVIRUS LIFE (Try not to laugh+ CBS SUNDAY)
Welcome to Quarantine https://youtu.be/Kk9EEecdQgU
My Kids Ask Covid-19 https://youtu.be/9EhChTrSlPM
Pandemic CBS Sunday Morning Mega Compilation https://youtu.be/PYJ85-_YZL0

Jim Gaffigan is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer and producer. He presently has 5 stand up specials on Netflix and 3 on Amazon Prime Video. He wrote 2 New York Times Best Sellers DAD IS FAT and FOOD: A Love Story
TEXT JIM 646-980-6600

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