Responding to Abuse -- may be triggering

"...that first instance of telling your story to someone else will make or break how easy recovery is going to be for you.” ~B. Piper, sexual violence expert

A big thanks to the many people who listened to me and worked on this episode collaboratively. For additional information I would highly recommend these resources:
OUR WAVE -- a safe place for victims/survivors to tell their stories
https://www.ourwave.org
ENGAGE by UPLIFT -- a YouTube video series to get help
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL5-uV3zzBI6PHBw2w0Evnv2O6ErAOaQJE
KATI MORTON -- Mental health channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/KatiMorton
HELP GUIDE -- https://www.helpguide.org/articles/ptsd-trauma/recovering-from-rape-and-sexual-trauma.htm
RAINN -- anti-sexual violence organization
https://www.rainn.org/about-national-sexual-assault-telephone-hotline
STOP BULLYING NOW -- https://www.stopbullying.gov/resources/get-help-now
NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE -- https://www.thehotline.org

FROM OUR WAVE:
When a survivor discloses a sexual assault experience to you, it can often be difficult to know how to respond appropriately. While every situation is different, the following are suggestions from survivors and their advocates. First, listen. Rather than starting with doubt, start by believing. Allow the survivor to lead the conversation. Match the terminology of the survivor and do not label their experience for them. Avoid asking questions and let the survivor know you are glad that they told you. It is important to recognize that silence is okay.
Next, support the survivor. Affirm their courage and strength. Ensure that they are safe and ask “how can I be helpful?” Validate their feelings. Most importantly, respect the decisions the survivor makes even if you do not agree with them. Remember, this person has had their power and control taken away from them so it is important that they have control over this conversation with you.
Next, refer and connect the survivor to resources. There are a variety of local and national organizations devoted to comprehensive crisis intervention, advocacy, and support. You are not expected to be an expert in this topic, but directing survivors to people who are will help them get continued care and allow them to receive tailored information for their needs.
It is important to note that if the survivor that discloses to you is under the age of 18, it is your responsibility to report the situation. This may feel counterintuitive given what we told you above about supporting survivor decision-making, but investigation is incredibly important for the child’s continued safety. If you need to report the situation, be transparent and try to explain why you need to do so.
In all situations, if possible, be sure to follow up with the person to show them that you care. Finally, be gentle with yourself. You may feel anger towards the situation or towards the perpetrator. You may feel helpless that you can't relieve the survivor of their suffering. You may feel guilt that you didn’t notice the situation sooner. You may even worry that you did not say the right things. Know your feelings are valid and if you need to seek help for these feelings too that is also okay. Just by listening and being there, you are doing enough.

Our Wave, a non-profit dedicated to supporting survivors of abuse and their website our wave.org is a safe space for survivors of sexual assault, abuse, and violence to anonymously share their stories.
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Видео Responding to Abuse -- may be triggering канала sexplanations