Kung Fu Fools & MMA (Moronic Martial Arts) - Bullshido and McDojos

When Weng Weng appears on your screen you know it can mean only one thing - I'm about to roundhouse kick your mind with some MMA fighting skills or as I like to call it, moronic martial arts.

If anyone is interested, here's the first part https://youtu.be/9QEHZ2yccco

Last Kung Fu roast featured a man named Tom Cameron using sound projection to decimate human beings. I dug up a little more info on the guy and he's been around for a while slathering as much bull on the world as his sausage fingers allow.

But Tom's hardly a one dimensional man. He also enjoys belting out a tune. I think he has a 8 degree black belt in karaoke where he uses sound projection to destroy ear drums. And here he is with a moustache and wearing his best late night cruising leather vest.

Well that's about all the Tom Cameron anyone should be forced to digest in one sitting so let's move along.

You can only attend this special self defence class if your name is Skeeter, own at least one shirt that has a fart joke on it, and have a minimum of two relatives who are related to each other multiple times over and in different ways. Let's see what martial arts Skeeter has to teach the other Skeeters. So basically the trick is this: if you find yourself fighting a mannequin or a person frozen in time, you first massage their wrist, slowly move up the arm and tickle their elbow, then finish them off with a sucker punch behind the ear.

What can I say about this bag of flour in a bathrobe that his portly frame and french fry smelling moustache don't already say. Here he's showing everyone how to use ninja magic to stop a punch. The only punch this guy could handle is a fruit punch and even then I'm sceptical. As you can see, all these energy masters are of the absolute highest character and only use their magic for good.

What to do when you are a family of martial artists and don't own a saw? Just use your grandson to cut wood. That's it, I'm throwing away my tools - apparently kids are the new swiss army knife. And what if he does a crappy job cutting wood....why it's punishment time. But how do you punish a martial artist? Why by breaking rocks on their head and making sure they have a permanent bald spot. Or you ground them by plopping 700 lbs of brick on them.

This is the new show called Silligans island. It's about a bunch of morons who wander away from the all inclusive resort and are too stupid to find their way back. They end up humping coconuts and develop a magical self defence in case any locals try to sell them cheap merchandise. The end game to all this Snuffalafagus is to create some sort of force field bubble of protection. Now Energy Bubbles are very similar to Bathtub fart bubbles in that they're kind of fun to do but in the end they just stink. Let's see how their energy bubble holds up to a test. Yep, just another fart bubble tickling their brown winker stinker. You know you're getting fleeced by a con man when he's more concerned about keeping up the illusion than he is with knocking someone out. Damn, he ran into her so hard it looks like she's trying to stop her sphincter from falling out. You know you're in some special kind of pain when you start clenching your turd cannon like you found a mitt full of money. She's going to be crapping tears for a while.

But if you think magic force fields are just for giving failed drama teachers an excuse to run over middle aged hippie chicks, you are wrong. They're also amazingly ineffective with edged weapons as this kung fu expert will demonstrate. Here he is prepping his arm with invisible fairy dust. Since he'll be cutting into his left arm I will assume he's a right handed delusional idiot. Let's see if his pixie dust did the job. As the song goes, “The first cut is the deepest, baby I know.”

Meanwhile, back at the Avengers academy, junior superheroes are learning how to disarm a gunman in only 23 very specific, exact, precise moves. You've all heard of the Black Panther or the Black Lightning....this guy is more like the Black Hamster or perhaps the Black Drizzle.

This next clip is probably the most effective martial arts technique for getting YouTube views. First, hire a fit, attractive model to stand around and pretend she's interested in martial arts. Next....well that's pretty much it.

Alright you gaggle of YouTube ninjas, that's it - that's all for this edition of MMA fighting skills, or as I like to call it - Moronic Martial Arts. Hope you enjoyed the video, if you did - please leave a thumbs up, share, and subscribe. If you want more martial arts videos in the future, please let me know in the comment section otherwise I'm going to change gears and roast some new things. Thanks again for all your support. Be well and see you next time here at 10 Favorite Things.

#McDojo #Bullshido #kungfool

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