Christmas Eve through the years #Christmasdecor #christmas #holidaydecor #love #christmasinmyheart

Christmas Eve 2025. I’m sitting here with the heaviest heart I have ever had. I’ve been trying to ignore all of these emotions and this overwhelming sadness. My life was forever changed on September 21st this year. Without nearly any warning, no long illness, no time to discuss or say everything I’m regretting not having said now…. my mom went home into the arms of Jesus. I literally can’t believe it’s true as I type these words.

Since September my life was a whirlwind of love & loss. If you’ve been following our channel, you may know shortly after my mom passed away, our daughter Brett got married. That was a true distraction. However it carried many more emotions & such sadness. All wrapped up in joy & happiness. My heart was a mess. It’s not normal to feel such extremes like that, it’s physically exhausting. It’s all hitting me tonight.

Now, as I sit here on Christmas Eve going through my mom’s things, looking at photos, feeling such complete grief, it just brings me back to the purpose of Christmas.

This song, How Many Kings literally brings me to tears. When we feel our lives are being consumed with grief, and we feel God has forsaken us…. How are we forgetting the sadness and unimaginable trauma Mary went through. Losing her beloved son, watching him being beaten & abused, ridiculed & humiliated. For what? For who? Why so much pain to be endured?

How many gave up their son for me? Only one did that for me…. For you…. 💔.

The birth of Christ to the crusifiction of Christ was all for me. For you. We’re never alone in our pain. God is there with us. He sent HIS only begotten son to all of us. Knowing the cross would come. Knowing the pain, suffering and heartbreak. But, knowing death was not the final answer.

So as I sit here crying and feeling so broken, missing both my mom & dad, I believe I will see them again. I know this Christmas they’re spending it in heaven with the angels and Jesus has wrapped HIS loving arms around them. 🎁

If you’re feeling the all consuming grief too, feel it. Feel all of it. But, also feel the love of Jesus despite all the hurt. Hurt does not me God has abandoned us. It just means where there once was tremendous love, there is now tremendous loss. God is there in both. HIS heart breaks for what is breaking ours 💔.

Last year ALL of our kids were home. All 5 of our kids, their significant others and our grandughter Lyra was just born ❤️. 3 beautiful grandaughters. It was so magical. We had everyone HOME ❤️🎁TOGETHER 🎁❤️. Then we went down to Tampa to my mom’s. Never knowing in a million years that she would be gone this Christmas. Thank you Jesus for the unmeasurable gift of Christmas 2024🎁.

Dear God, help me with this grief. Some moments just take the breath right out of me.

Hug your loved ones tighter. Make the phone call. Take the pictures. Go visit your parents & grandparents. Today is truly a gift. Tomorrow is never promised.

Merry Christmas Eve 2025. Thank you Jesus.

❤️Kerri & Mike

Photos from Cape Cod to Orlando.

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