Niko - Looking Back

(Note: My name is not Niko by the way, it's just a fake name because I don't want my real name out in the public. And also sorry if the grammar is bad.)

This album is a checkpoint for me, and is mainly meant for my parents and friends but I wanted to upload it. It samples Aphex Twin and William Basinski, all credits go to them. This is album basically a look back at my early childhood (5-9) and also kind of my toxic friend group. I hope I don't anger one of my friends or parents by making this because I will be spilling some info about my life, but I'm not saying any ones public name or where they live.

Track 1 "Normal" 0:00
This track is basically how I feel looking back on my early childhood, It's happy but mostly saddening. I feel like I could have had a better one than I had, not saying that I have had the worst childhood. But a lot of stuff happened in what seemed to a long time but actually happened so fast. I used to be a very easily angry kid, getting mad at the smallest things like being able to do math right, and have mental breakdowns. I'm glad I am not like that anymore. A lot of more stuff happened but for privacy I won't go into all of that.

Track 2 "Third Parent, Internet" 5:51
This track is how I feel when I was on the internet as a kid. Finding many things that I shouldn't have, mostly sexual things but this track is mainly about how I feel like I felt about 9/11 when I found out about it (Which is why I used the "d|p 1.1" tape). It probably felt saddening but I never really teared up until now. But when I first saw "The Falling Man" I did not know what to say expect 'That's sad." Now I just feel depressed, mainly because I'm still sure people don't know who he is and how scary that must have been to experience in the moment not knowing what to do but jump. Besides that I found out more stuff wrong with the world.

Track 3 "Fast Car" 13:17
In 2021 (If I remember) I was invited by a steam friend to a friend group. Little did I know that would change my life for better and for worse. The good part was I had friends, the bad part is that I was treated like trash and was hated by the leader of the friend group. Most of the time left me in tears. And now, it's the same but different and I'm also not crying. My friend group is still pretty toxic and we can't agree at all most of the time, always getting into argument's. I don't know how we lasted so long but some how we've had. And these 3 years with the friend group have went by so fast (Hence the name "Fast Car"). But I'm also glad to be in the friend group, I've gotten to get closer with a friend, I got more tolerable of being insulted by people (kind of), and we most of the time have fun. So at least everything is mostly working out.

I hope I did not release that much info about my friends or family for them to get mad. Anyways I hope you guys at least liked the meaning of the tracks if you did not like the music. I hope you guys have a good year, love all of you that enjoy the stuff. Goodnight.

Samples used:

Aphex twin - Rhubarb (#3)
William Basinski - d|p 1.1
William Basinski -d|p 4

(YouTube only release)

Видео Niko - Looking Back канала Full Box Set