:)

You know it's funny, doing livestreams of the old playlists every night last week. It reminded me of the time I was jobless and just did playlists of songs that comforted me and started doing premieres. I had no purpose in life but every month or so I had a sense of accomplishment because of the playlists and a sense of connection with the chat listening with me. Then I finally found work and have earned some income the last 2 years or so but I still haven't found purpose. And the sense of accomplishment was taken away as I haven't been able to do my playlists for a long time. Last year, I have been drinking out with the people from work more and finally started to see old acquaintances again, went to the high school reunion in November and went to the wedding of college friends two weeks ago in the hopes it would give me closure and healing. But honestly, I missed being away. And I've just been reminded of how easy it is to actually do it. Be away. Go off grid. Be nothing. I've shut off my work phone since the turn of the year. The contractor I work for is not supposed to be getting projects until February but I've practically gone AWOL on them. Honestly, I'm scared I might not be able to go back lol. I'm scared to turn on my work phone. I'm scared of going 2 years again just being nothing. I'm scared it's what I want to do. I want to start fresh in a new town with a new name. I want to go to some school. I want to travel. I want to build bikes and ride. I don't know what I want.

Видео :) канала moksori's playlists