The West Wing - S04E06 - Game On - Prank on Toby

TOBY
A crisis of confidence?

LEO
Yeah.

TOBY
I don't understand.

LEO
I was on the helicopter with him earlier this morning, and I'm telling you
he's second
guessing himself, he's revising answers in his head...

TOBY
Leo?

LEO
I know.

TOBY
What-what... I don't... When I left him, he was ready. I don't understand. He's
ready.
You can see it.

LEO
Not this morning.

TOBY
This isn't supposed to happen with you people.

LEO
Christians?

TOBY
Yes. What happened to "steady as she goes"?

LEO
A smart guy said the Presidential elections are won and lost on one square
foot of real
estate. [points to his head] Up here.

TOBY
Well, that's great.

LEO
Yeah.

TOBY
All right, we still got a day and half before he debates. We'll go back
to school.

LEO
I think that's just going to pour gas on the problem.

TOBY
What do you want to do?

LEO
We've got a two-minute drill right now. I think whatever answers he gives
we should
just say "That's terrific, Mr. President."

TOBY
Then what's the point of the two-minute drill?

LEO
We got five of them scheduled before tomorrow night. We're using one of them
for this.

TOBY
This is crazy. I don't believe this.

LEO
That's terrific, Mr. President.

TOBY
All right.

Toby and Leo enter the COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE.

SAM
Leo...

TOBY
Listen, we're going to do something in the... in the drill right now.

SAM
What?

TOBY
No notes, just positive reinforcement.

SAM
Why?

TOBY
He has a problem this morning.

SAM
All right. Leo, I've got a 9:30 flight. I'll be there sometime after lunch.

LEO
You really can't do this with a phone call?

SAM
Oh, God, I don't know. The man died. There's a widow. We're asking them
to pack.
I'm an hour and 15 minutes away in a rental car, and we didn't make it
personal.

LEO
All right, I just need you in San Diego.

They see Josh in the HALLWAY.

TOBY
Josh!

LEO
We're still looking for ten words.

JOSH
I'm still looking for them, too.

LEO
Ten words, ten words-- let's go.

JOSH
We're going to expand the field.

They all enter the OUTER OVAL OFFICE. C.J.'s already there.

TOBY
No notes during this drill. [to C.J.] That's you, too.

C.J.
What's that?

TOBY
No notes during the drill.

JOSH
Why?

TOBY
He's in his head.

JOSH
There's pretty important feedback in the two-minute drills.

TOBY
We've got four more. We've got one on the plane.

C.J.
When is Debbie actually starting?

LEO
The President sent her to the Maxwell school for a three-day crash course
in everything.

TOBY
You know you've got a ten dollar bill in there on your clipboard.

C.J.
Yeah. I owe it to someone.

CHARLIE
You can all go on in.

JOSH
Thank you.

They all go inside THE OVAL OFFICE.

BARTLET
Ten words. Ten words.

JOSH
We don't have them yet, Mr. President.

BARTLET
All right, let's do a drill.

C.J.
Mr. President, despite a rise in tension around the globe, you've held up
funding for
a missile defense shield.

BARTLET
Too much money for too little protection.

ALL
Good.

BARTLET
Next.

JOSH
Sir, you oppose a voucher system that would offer children a choice of
better schools...

BARTLET
That would offer some children a choice of better schools, but I haven't
given up the
ghost on better schools for everybody, and vouchers drain money from that goal.

TOBY
Mr. President, this next question is on capital punishment, which you oppose:
If your
youngest daughter Zoey was raped and murdered, would you not want to see
the man
responsible put to death?

BARTLET
First of all, it's important to understand the President doesn't make that
decision,
though he appoints the Supreme Court Justices who do
so. What... any... um... All
right, I'm not going to say that. I'll just go right to... No, I don't. I
think you
know that I'm opposed.... [sighs] Let's not do that. I haven't seen any
evidence that
it's a deterrent, and there are more effective... In my state...

TOBY
Oh, my God.

BARTLET
What?

TOBY
[to Leo] You weren't kidding. [to Bartlet] What's the matter with you? When
I left
you... I just mentioned your daughter being murdered, and you're giving us
an answer
that's not only soporific, it's barely human! Yes, you'd want to see him
put to death.
You'd want it to be cruel and unusual, which is why it's probably a good
idea that
fathers of murder victims don't have legal rights in these situations. Now,
we're
going back to school.

There is a long pause of silence, then they all begin to laugh.

BARTLET
Let's go-- ten bucks. Crisis of confidence. [to Leo] You did one square foot
of real
estate.

LEO
Yes, I did.

BARTLET
Ten bucks for you. [to Toby] And you-- You big bear, come to me. I'm going
to kiss
you right on the mouth.

C.J.
Ten bucks.

LEO
Anything else, sir?

BARTLET
Work hard.

ALL
Thank you, sir.

They head back out to the OUTER OVAL OFFICE.

JOSH
[to Sam] Have a safe flight.

SAM
I'll see you in San Diego.

JOSH
[to Toby] Sorry about that. It was the President idea. He bet us you couldn't
stay quiet
if he gave a bad answer. What?

TOBY
He's ready.

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