"Getting Gay with Kids" (Original Music) - SOUTH PARK

The "Getting Gay with Kids" group meets the president of Costa Rica, but there's a bit of a language barrier.
"Rainforest Shmainforest" S03

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EXT. SAN JOSE NATIONAL HALL - DAY
The bus pulls up to the National Hall and the kids all
pour out.
CHOIR TEACHER
Kids, this is the Costa Rican Capital
building! This is where all the
leaders of the Costa Rican Government
make their-
CARTMAN
Oh God it smells like ass out here!
CHOIR TEACHER
Alright, that does it!
The Choir teacher grabs Cartman’s arm and leans down in
his face.
CHOIR TEACHER (cont’d)
Eric Cartman you respect other
cultures THIS INSTANT!
CARTMAN
I wasn’t saying anything about their
culture, I was just saying their city
smells like ass.
Meanwhile, Kenny and Kelly are standing off to the side.
KELLY
Wow... Seeing a place like this really
makes you appreciate living in
America, huh?
KENNY
(Dreamy eyed)
Mph-hm.
Kelly picks her nose.
CHOIR TEACHER
(Continuing)
You may think that making fun of third
world countries is funny, but let me-
CARTMAN
I don’t think it’s funny! This place
is overcrowded, smelly and poor --
that’s not funny, that sucks!
The Choir Teacher sighs.
CHOIR TEACHER
Eric, will you please, PLEASE, just
keep your mouth shut while we present
ourselves to the Costa Rican
President?
CARTMAN
Why?
CHOIR TEACHER
(Out the side of her mouth)
Because I’ll buy you some ice cream
afterwards if you do.
CARTMAN
Eh-OH!

INT. SAN JOSE NATIONAL HALL - DAY
The kids are standing in a large hall decorated with
flags and pictures of Costa Rican leaders. The Choir
Teacher is standing in front of them, talking right into
camera-
CHOIR TEACHER
Well, it was a long trip, but the
children are VERY excited to sing
tomorrow!
Now we see the reverse angle. A big Costa Rican LEADER
sits behind a crappy desk. And a few other official
looking Costa Ricans stand beside him. They all look
confused.
LEADER
Que?
CHOIR TEACHER
Uh... We’re the choir... that was sent
from the United States.
LEADER
Que?
CHOIR TEACHER
We’re the group singing for the save
the rainforest summit tomorrow? Oh
dear, where is Mr. Mackey he should
have been here by now...
The Costa Ricans still just look confused.
CHOIR TEACHER (cont’d)
Children, do any of you speak Spanish?
The kids all just stand there and blink. Kelly picks her
nose. Finally, Cartman raises his hand.
CHOIR TEACHER (cont’d)
Don’t you DARE.
Cartman slowly lowers his hand. Just then, Mr. Mackey
walks in.
MR. MACKEY
Sorry I’m late.
CHOIR TEACHER
Oh thank goodness you’re here, I don’t
speak any Spanish.
MR. MACKEY
Oh, no problem.
Uh ustedes choir de Estados Unidos,
Mbien. (We’re the choir from the
United States)
LEADER
Oh... Oh! Save Da Rainforest!
CHOIR TEACHER
Yes!
LEADER
Pablo los llevara en un tur de la
jungla. (Pablo will take you on a
rainforest tour)
MR. MACKEY
Uh, he says Pablo here will take you
on a rainforest tour.
The rainforest guide steps out and waves.
CHOIR TEACHER
Oh boy! Mr. Presedente, round up all
your subjects outside! We have a
special gift for you! The gift... Of
song!
PRESIDENTE
Que?
EXT. SAN JOSE NATIONAL HALL - DAY
The kids are all gathered on the small square in front of
the old, dirty building. They absolutely sparkle in their
neat, Getting Gay With Kids shirts and white gloves.
CHOIR TEACHER
Alright children, let’s get in our
rows quickly so we can begin!
STAN
I don’t remember all the words!

CHOIR TEACHER
That’s okay, jut sing with the tape.
Nobody will notice.
The kids get in their rows.
The Presidente and his people look confused.
KELLY
Did you remember all the choreography,
Lenny?
KENNY
(I think so)
Rm rmph rm.
The Choir teacher turns around and addresses the poor
Costa Ricans.
CHOIR TEACHER (cont’d)
Hello, everybody! This is just a
little rehearsal for tomorrow, so we
may be a little rusty, ha ha ha...
The Choir Teacher pulls a large boom box out of nowhere
and presses ‘play’. Gay music begins.
KIDS
(Singing)
Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo. Zat A Doot A Waa.
There is a place that is magical and
full of rain. But now it needs help
because it is in pain. Cleaning the
earth is a mighty big chore. But we’re
spreading awareness like never before.
The poor Costa Ricans look on with confusion.
The choir teacher happily directs. She gestures for the
kids to put bigger smiles on their faces.
KIDS
(singing)
Getting gay with kids is here. To
spread the word and bring you cheer.
Let’s save the rainforest. What do you
say? Being an activist is totally gay.
The kids all do a little choreography along with the
song. It’s obvious that Kyle has no clue what is going

KIDS
(singing)
Someday if we work hard boys and
girls,
there’ll be nothing but rainforest
covering the entire world.
(beat)
Getting gay with kids is here. To
spread the word and bring you cheer.
Getting gay with kids is here. So save
the rainforest. Totally gay. It’s
totally gay.

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