multifandom ed • paralyzed [tw ed]

long time, no see.

didn't post anything new but i had to take some time for myself to heal. like some of you may know, or not, i struggle with bulimia, so I DO NOT PROMOTE EATING DISORDERS, i just put my emotions into videos, since i don't have anyone to talk about it. or even when i do - i don't want to.

recently i was diagnosed with pcos, which explained my weight swings and why i have such problems with losing weight. through the years, when I WAS NOT diagnosed, i developed an eating disorder, hoping i will lose weight. it took me years to realise that i do not owe society anything and my mental health is the most important thing in the world, not what they think of me and if they like my body or not. however, it is a battle i am going to fight all my life, i am not just going to wake up one day and not have ed anymore. there are days when i just eat like a normal person, then feel ashamed and starve myself for the next two days. sometimes i wake up and start day with thinking "i'm not gonna eat today", and then i have a really big and hard battle with my head to explain myself that it's not good for me and that i have to make healthy decisions not ed related.

it's a hard battle. but we can do it. we can overcome it, if we want. that is why i will finally participate in a therapy sessions i registered myself with. (i was registered for months but i think at this time i just didn't want to get better as much as i do now)

btw sorry there's a repeated scene from pretty little liars, didn't mean to put it twice, there was an error at rendering. me and my unhealthy perfectionism tried to fix it but we couldn't. when i tried to render it again, there were glitch and glitch after another glitch so i decided to leave it as it is.

SONG: NF - paralyzed
PROGRAMME: svp 17
FANDOM: multifandom
COLORING : evelyn jackson hurricane

Видео multifandom ed • paralyzed [tw ed] канала w.n. productions