Ali G on Rove Live (2002 Australia)

Interview with Sacha Baron Cohen, on Australian TV show "Rove Live". Promoting upcoming movie "Ali G Indahouse". Aired July 2002. The following is a transcript of the interview:

Rove: Maximum respect, it's Ali G!

Ali G: Who's you?

Rove: My name is Rove. It's an honour to meet you.

Ali G: I only agreed to do this cos me thought it was Rolf Harris. Anyways, big up the kiwi massive. This be Ali G here in London town, Buckingham Palace behind me.

Rove: Now we're very honoured to be graced with your presence...

Ali G: It is 9 o'clock in the flippin' morning here. You know me got out of bed for this. I didn't even have enough time to munch on me Julie's kebab. Me was having this wicked dream and all, about me being a pair of these designer panties that all the pop stars in the world wanted to try on. Beyonce, J Lo, the Minogue twins... it got a bit weird when Michael Jackson tried 'em on. Did you know he's got no hair on his balls?

Rove: I'll take your word for it. Now, we don't have many bad arse gangster rappers like yourself here. Have you been to Australia before, just to help boost our numbers?

Ali G: Well, me ain't been but me do want to go out to Australia cos me has always wanted to visit the African continent.

Rove: Now, you live with your nan, do you think maybe you're a little bit too old to be living with her?

Ali G: Well, if anything Rove, me reckon that me nan is getting too old to live with me. She is now so feeble that it takes her half an hour to carry a full dust bin out from the house to the front gate, even with me shouting encouragement to her through the window. Though it will be sad when she is gone, a little bit of her will always stay behind, mainly cos the piss stains is well hard to get out.

Rove: I can understand your pain, I really can. Now other than your nan, of course, we're all well aware that you have another love in your life, which of course is your girlfriend Julie.

Ali G: For real, that is right.

Rove: Now how did the two of you meet?

Ali G: Now check this Rove, it was on me very first day at big school when me was 14. Me looked across the hall in the assembly, and saw the most beautiful and sexiest honey me'd ever seen in me life. Unfortunately, she thought I was a prick, but luckily standing next to her was Julie, the school slapper. Me gave her two fingers of me Kit Kat, and she let me give her another two fingers behind the bike shed, aight.

Rove: That's what you want in a woman. That's classy stuff.

Ali G: For real.

Rove: Now, does she love the fact that you have written a song for her with Shaggy?

Ali G: Well let's just say she was well appreciative and she showed me how grateful she was behind the wheelie bins next to Langley Village Hall. If me'd known that writing a song about a bitch had this effect on them, me'd have called the track "Me Kylie". The truth is, though, that me wanted to write a song that celebrated me relationship with me Julie, but also me wanted to write about me own testicles, and there ain't many words that rhyme with "goolie", innit?

Rove: That's true, I know that many performers have had that very problem.

Ali G: That is true.

(more transcript to come soon...)

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