Selective Attitudes and the Happy Life | Rex E. and Janet G. Lee | 1993

We all have adversity. However, we can choose selective attitudes of positivity, gratitude, and faith that will make life happy, no matter the circumstance.

This speech was given on January 12, 1993.

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https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/rex-e-and-janet-g-lee/selective-attitudes-and-the-happy-life/

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"Janet: Several months ago while Rex and I were attending a BYU regional conference, we sat on the stand overlooking a sea of students. My mind whirled back over the years, remembering treasured moments from my own BYU experiences. I recalled having heart-to-heart talks with my roommates, walking through gently falling snow on the way home from the library, and reading or getting ready to go out without the responsibility of house and children. I also remembered feeling the sense of accomplishment when a paper was completed or an exam behind me, falling in love, and graduation.

When the meeting was over and Rex and I were on our way home, I remarked to him how much I missed those good old days. I asked Rex, “Don’t you wish you could go back and live a few of those carefree days again?” My husband, who is more realistic than I am, and very much more practical, laughed and replied, “I think you have selective memory.”

Rex: Selective indeed. Of course it was nice to get those papers turned in, or to perform well on a test. But what about the hours of drudgery that went into those papers? And what about the times when the test performance left you wondering why you ever gave up your newspaper route? That probably never happened to you, my friend, but it certainly did to me. And how about the winter semester when every morning I had to leave an hour early to walk to a seven o’clock class at Page School because we couldn’t afford gasoline for the car, which in any event we were sharing with my brother?

Janet: Now wait just a minute. Time out. You had to walk to school through snow for an hour every morning to get to class? You are starting to sound like my father. I think you’re the one with selective memory.

Rex: Well, I’m the only one who knows, because I’m the only one who did it. But if you want to verify my statistics, just get up some cold, snowy morning and walk from where we used to live over to Page School. You’ll see. Sixty minutes. Right on the button.

Janet: Well, maybe if you had to dig a tunnel through sixteen feet of snow, but since you brought it up, your “hour-long” walks to save gas were not the only consequence of our financial circumstances. Trying to keep both of us alive on $10 a week was no small challenge.

Rex: Ten dollars?

Janet: Well, maybe $10 plus a little change.

Rex: Whatever it was, it was no big deal. Whenever things got really tough, I would just exercise my powers as student body president and schedule another banquet.

Janet: I thought you only did that on your dish night.

Rex: Whatever. Once we got beyond the joking stage, Janet’s comments brought forth to me a rich outpouring of memories and reactions. In the first place, however selective her memory, she was basically right. Those were happy days. BYU was then and is now a wonderful place to live and learn. But my initial response was also correct. Most of us do tend to be selective in the memories that we manage to lodge in our permanent inventory. And on balance, selective memories are a good thing, because they make life more pleasant.

Janet: As I have thought more about that conversation, it has occurred to me that selectivity affects our lives in more ways than just what we remember. Today we would like to talk to you about another kind of selectivity, selective attitudes...."

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