all those years, pt 2

woah.

i kept it all { heartbreak, pain, depression, eating disorders, weakness as well as happiness, joy, love, dream life } for myself for so many years.
i was afraid to show myself { at certain weight } to a big online audience as certain rude comments would hurt my soul so much that i would hide from everyone even more.
i never talked about my childhood and my mom especially, as those memories are too hurtful for me.
i never talked about my relationship with golf as i couldn't talk about them without having tears in my eyes.

nevertheless and not matter what, i always smiled, looked at the brighter side of the world and tried my best to find a sparkle of joy in every possible moment that could distract me from pain, even if for a second.

my life is a process of healing.
my life is a travelling diary, a reflection of who i am becoming day by day.

the most frequent question that i get asked there is "how old are you?" as if this would make any sense at all.
there is no ageing. there is only becoming, evolving, growing.

the only way thru is going forward healing.
and at a certain we can become the healing presence we always needed in the world. having a safe space was lacking in my upbringing, so I eventually just became one.

this video is a tangible mix of my memories, travel archives, and up to date life moments.
and it is only part 1. there is so much i haven't showed you yet.

i hope you find something of value and reflection here.
i honor your presence and value your time.
i love you. and this is my truth.

forever yours, kiki

my social media 💌

https://www.instagram.com/kiki_sun_shine/
https://www.instagram.com/pickmeuptomorrow/

my playlists 🎧
https://soundcloud.com/kikikolenbet
https://open.spotify.com/user/317eeqfveivu66oxwcbscgo3pw3u?si=2ba5181d136c4032

collaborations : highvibrationalfood@gmail.com

Chapters

0:00 now | 2022 ・ibiza
02:12 childhood memories | 1996・tashkent
10:22 gk story | 2013 ・2014 ・bangkok, seoul, tokyo, florence, hallstatt
19:19 feel it
20:42 single life | maldives & seychelles
21:31 summer with 0fr. | paris 2017・oslo 2018
26:30 moved to u.s.a | los angeles 2017
31:51 coming back to myself again | ibiza 2022

Видео all those years, pt 2 канала Kiki