Age Difference In Marriage Problems | Paul Friedman

Was this comes to your mind that you think the age difference is affecting your marriage and causing problems? Watch the video so you could learn more and understand what's going on with your marriage.

Today's topic is about age differences and whether they actually contribute to marital problems. If you've been paying attention to my earlier videos reading my articles then you know that the approach that I take and so The Marriage Foundation takes to marriage is spiritual.

What does that mean?

That means that it's truly a soul to soul relationship between husband and wife. The question about age differences comes up and it is essentially a distraction. It's an excuse
for not making your marriage work the way it's supposed to. Let's talk a little bit about what it's supposed to means. There's only two of you in this little micro-society called the marriage.

Why can't you get along with each other if there are only two of you?

It's because you don't understand. You don't remember maybe you weren't even conscious of why you got married in the first place. You got married to be happy and when I first
began my journey of helping marriages don't forget what I was doing before was I was helping people get a divorce. I was a divorce mediator and all of my clients virtually, all of my clients were referrals from therapists, couples counselors who couldn't save the
marriage that was now coming to me to be broken off.

I had to really look at marriage from a different point of view so I could understand why aren't these marriages surviving. One of the biggest problems truly is that Western psychology doesn't recognize that we are souls. Some of them some of the psychologists are there and therapists may even be Christian or belong to another faith and so they say,
"We have a soul." It's not the same thing, it's not the same thing. You are a soul.

What is a soul?

A soul, you might say is a part of God, think of God as the sum total of all and love is the nature of God. Your soul is love, wisdom. Ultimate wisdom is love.

Why aren't you able to bring love into your marriage just because you're different ages in this one particular incarnation?

I am telling you, I have worked with couples who are 20, 25 even 30 years apart but you wouldn't know by how they're connected at that level that there is that age difference. That age difference only comes up when there are problems and then people are looking for answers and they're looking outwardly. They're going, "Okay, what's the problem?" "Maybe it's because I'm 10 years younger than he is or 15 years older than she is."

I hear things like what we listen to different music remember, you got married to connect as
souls and you can do that because the soul is ageless. You essentially as a soul are ageless. Your spouse is ageless. When you are in love the body doesn't even come into play
hardly. It's all about the heart, the soul. It's all about you, the real you. So if you are starting to look for answers as to why your marriage is not providing the happiness that you expected when you got married, don't look for the outer things. Don't look for the
age difference. Don't look for the difference in taste in music or taste in food -- those things don't matter but you don't know how to connect. That's the problem. You don't know how to infuse your marriage with love -- that's the problem.

You may have some ideas now that you're hearing this, "Oh, I can infuse my marriage with love," but you know what as a professional it took me a long time to figure out the do's and the don'ts then it took me an even longer time to figure out the nuances of learning how
to control our own mind, learning how it all works, how it's all fit together.

Marriage is an amazing thing -- it's so beautiful in its elegant simplicity but there are a trillion moving parts so here's what my suggestion to you is. Forget about the age difference, forget about it -- instead learn how to be married. If your marriage isn't falling apart and in
many cases, people are like, "Wait, things aren't working well. We got to do something," but the marriage isn't falling apart that's really good. In those cases, either of my two books
is great templates for what a marriage is supposed to look like and there is chapters on all of these parts that are critical -- you learn so much.

If your marriage is falling apart then you might need to do something a little more radical and for that, we have courses that will show you how to train your mind so that you could become you, get your emotions under control, get your habits under control. Look, these are not sales pitches. The people who will respond to you because we have counselors and you could write to our counselors, it's free of charge.

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Видео Age Difference In Marriage Problems | Paul Friedman канала The Marriage Foundation