Complaining is the Opposite of Gratitude, Incompatible With Conscious, Inspired Action.

When a captive parrot is extremely stressed or unhappy, it can sometimes start to pull its own feathers out. To the dismay of its owner, it will sit and yank out its own feathers one by one so that it has raw, bald patches all over its neck and chest, and a dirty cage filling up with feathers and down. Granted, parrots do this for a range of complicated reasons, but human beings have a tendency to do something similar—a kind of mental feather plucking.

The habit in question is complaining. Every time you complain, it is as useless and destructive as a parrot plucking one of their own beautiful, healthy feathers and throwing it to the ground. It serves no purpose, it solves no problem, and all it achieves is to make the parrot look awful. Most of us think of complaining as relatively harmless, but the ease with which we can make little complaints here and there is precisely what makes the problem so insidious.

Complaining is powerful. It is the opposite of gratitude. It is also incompatible with conscious, inspired action.

Complaining is identifying a problem without seeking a solution, or passively whining so that others will solve it for you. It’s a subtle way to deny our own responsibility for an issue, or to quietly place blame. It is one hundred percent “out of power” language and can lead to a creeping attitude of victimization.

When we complain, we amplify negativity while doing nothing to actually address it. At its worst, complainers make a nuisance of themselves, and their dissatisfaction can almost be weaponized against others, as though they were constantly saying, “Wah! I’m unhappy, and I’m going to make things unpleasant until someone does something about it!” Basically, complaining is like a low-level, background temper tantrum!

If you recognize a little of yourself in Christina, don’t worry—we all complain sometimes. There is nothing wrong with being irritated, tired, sad, or confused. What matters is what we consciously choose to do about it. Ask yourself the same question Chris does. Can I do anything about this? Complaining, like pessimism, is a kind of coping mechanism (but a rotten one!). You may discover that it’s actually far easier to cope when you remind yourself of a simple fact: If you don’t like something, you have the power to change it.

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Nick Trenton grew up in rural Illinois and is quite literally a farm boy. His best friend growing up was his trusty companion Leonard the dachshund. RIP Leonard. Eventually, he made it off the farm and obtained a BS in Economics, followed by an MA in Behavioral Psychology.

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