My Ex Is Dating Someone Else Already And It Hurts | Should I Do No Contact?

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"My ex is dating someone else already and it hurts. Should I do no contact?"

Should you reach out to an ex who is in a relationship? Or, will no contact work in this instance?

YES! No Contact WILL work if your ex is seeing someone else. If your ex is seeing someone new, we would recommend that you do not start to reach out to them incessantly. We know that what you want to do is re-attract your ex, and we understand that. But, there are a couple of things you need to consider.

Number one, why did YOUR breakup happen? Don’t worry about this new person for a second. Why did you break up with your ex? Why did your ex break up with you? What was going wrong? What weren’t we fulfilling? What weren’t we communicating? What wasn’t working? Until you have assessed and established and found resolve with those answers, it doesn’t matter whether you reach out to your ex because it won’t fix this. You fix this by fixing you first. And THEN you can reach out, whether they are in a new relationship or not. But until the change occurs, you won’t be successful.

So we invite you to, instead of focusing on this new person, we encourage you to steer away from focusing on them, and start digging within yourself, and assessing what went wrong in your relationship because it is in those challenges that you can incorporate solutions, that can actually fix this.

Chances are your ex did not leave you for someone else. Chances are they left because they questioned your ability to make them happy, and then after the breakup, they met someone else. More often that not, that’s what happens. And if that’s the case, it’s important to know that this has nothing to do with the new person. It only has to do with you and with your ex, and that’s it!

This new person is variable “X”, and if it wasn’t them, it would be somebody else. They don’t actually have a role in your story with your ex. So focus on you and on what you can control, and on the variables that you can adjust, so that if you get this back off of the ground, you can save it this time, and you can keep it, and you can protect it.

If you want to communicate to your ex now that you've made these changes, you can, even if they're in a relationship with someone new. But, it's all about how you go about opening this door.

Once you send the text, you can't take it back. Once you send the letter, you can't take it back. So think about it. You owe it to yourself and you owe it to your relationship. Even if you've made all these changes, it doesn't mean you immediately pick up the phone and call your ex. Be calm, have peace of mind, assess the situation, and then decide what medium and what message makes the most sense for your specific relationship.

Whatever you do, don't mention the other, new person. In your eyes, they don't exist. It's so important that you show that you believe no one will ever add the value that you did to your ex's life anyway. The more you talk about this person, the stronger you make them.

My name is Coach Natalie from Love Advice TV. We want to give you at home all the tips and tools and resources you may need to see the change you want in your relationships. We offer these free videos to help you rebuild a connection with the person that you love the very most.
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