HOW TO DEAL WITH A NASTY COWORKER: 3 TIPS

Build Rapport with Difficult Coworkers: 3 Surefire Tips

Most people don’t walk into a conversation with the intention of being difficult. However, difficult coworkers can impede productivity and basically ruin your day. Most people spend a lot of time telling themselves and others how unfair it is that so-and-so speaks to them a certain way and we shouldn’t have to put up with this...on and on. The goal should always be to work on ways to improve that relationship, if at all possible. Whether you are successful or not, at least at the end of the day, you can tell yourself you gave it your all.

Practice Acceptance
We have to accept people for who they are. If someone has the emotional maturity of a 5 year old, you are not going to change that person through reasoning. Your best bet here is to view this person as the 5 year old that they are acting like. I had thee most difficult person and she directly impacted my work. She was emotional, rigid and inflexible and sometimes downright nasty. But, rather than gripe about how ridiculous she was, I started to view her as a 5 year old. Instead of arguing back at her, I started asking, what can I do to help this situation? Or, what do you need from me so we can stay on track? This helped me tremendously in not taking her words and actions personally. However, you must be extremely mindful of how you say that which leads me to number 2...

Check your own body language
Remember that 80% of any message is translated through facial expressions, tone of voice and body language. You can say the nicest words but if you’re yelling in an angry fashion and standing in an aggressive stance, those nice words won’t be heard.

Treat your coworkers as equals
If you walk into a conversation, enter with the mentality that we’re all on this together. It’s easy for people to get defensive when they perceive critisicm or feeling as though they are blamed for something. I can guarantee the person on the other end of that conversation is viewing the issue from their perspective and feeling misunderstood.

Change your perspective
Most of us speak from our perspective but try to stop, step in the other person’s shoes and try to see it from their perspective. They have their own challenges and perhaps you are unintentionally exacerbating those challenges. If you constantly forget to fill something in on a form, then maybe that means they have to stop what they are doing to look it up and do it for you. If someone gets snappy with you, have an honest discussion about what their challenges are. It’s probable that you’ll realize you can change a simple process in your own work flow to make their lives easier. Showing empathy and a willingness to adjust will go along way in bridging that gap.

Just remember, difficult people will exist in your life forever. In our personal lives it’s much easier to just stop interacting. At work however, as a member of a team, it’s not so easy to shut the door. I’d like to remind everyone that every interaction, every relationship takes two people and the only thing you can do is change your own actions and perceptions.

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