The True and the False Self
A good life is one in which we can dare to show our True Self and do not mind too much occasionally having to wear the mask of a False Self. But for this to be possible, we need a certain sort of childhood - as the masterful British psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott helped to explain in his theory of the true and the false self, outlined here.
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“One of the most surprising but powerful explanations for why we may, as adults, be in trouble mentally is that we were, in our earliest years, denied the opportunity to be fully ourselves, that is, we were not allowed to be wilful and difficult, we could not be as demanding, aggressive, intolerant, and unrestrictedly selfish as we needed to be. Because our caregivers were preoccupied or fragile, we had to be preternaturally attuned to their demands, sensing that we had to comply in order to be loved and tolerated; we had to be false before we had the chance to feel properly alive. And as a result, many years later, without quite understanding the process, we risk feeling unanchored, inwardly dead and somehow not entirely present…”
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Видео The True and the False Self канала The School of Life
For gifts and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2ERsogk
Join our mailing list: http://bit.ly/2e0TQNJ
Our website has classes, articles and products to help you think and grow: https://bit.ly/2H4Mc1r
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FURTHER READING
“One of the most surprising but powerful explanations for why we may, as adults, be in trouble mentally is that we were, in our earliest years, denied the opportunity to be fully ourselves, that is, we were not allowed to be wilful and difficult, we could not be as demanding, aggressive, intolerant, and unrestrictedly selfish as we needed to be. Because our caregivers were preoccupied or fragile, we had to be preternaturally attuned to their demands, sensing that we had to comply in order to be loved and tolerated; we had to be false before we had the chance to feel properly alive. And as a result, many years later, without quite understanding the process, we risk feeling unanchored, inwardly dead and somehow not entirely present…”
You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2qEJiJZ
MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE
Visit us in person at our London HQ: https://bit.ly/2HqFpTn
Watch more films on SELF in our playlist:
http://bit.ly/TSOLself
You can submit translations and transcripts on all of our videos here: https://www.youtube.com/timedtext_cs_panel?c=UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog&tab=2
Find out how more here: https://support.google.com/youtube/answer/6054623?hl=en-GB
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Feel free to follow us at the links below:
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Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife
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CREDITS
Produced in collaboration with:
Katherine Blanchin
https://vimeo.com/katebalchin #TheSchoolOfLife
Видео The True and the False Self канала The School of Life
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