Married & Alone: Step Five of the Twelve Steps | Dr. Doug Weiss

To buy the Married & Alone Step Guide: https://www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-alone-twelve-step-guide/

To buy the Married & Alone Workbook/Exercises: https://www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-alone-healing-exercises-workbook/

For the book Partner Betrayal Trauma: https://www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-book/

For the DVD Why Do I Stay: https://www.drdougweiss.com/product/why-do-i-stay-dvd/

To watch the rest of the Married & Alone series, check out this playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLoQAJVqvxAfhoYq-6aM64aOd6N8OAUSPK

Those who experience Intimacy Anorexia from their spouse, which is the act of withholding emotionally, spiritually, and sexually from your significant other, feel alone and disconnected. The pain and even trauma they go through is hard to bear. However, through the 12 Steps program, those who are married & alone can heal and move forward in life. Dr. Doug Weiss, licensed psychologist and national author, covers Step Five of the 12 Step process.

It's best to do Step Five as soon as possible after completing Step Four, don't delay. With Step Five it's about admitting to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. Some think that all they have to do is just tell someone their moral inventory from Step 4, but that's not what this step is about solely. Step 5 is a process that requires all three parts to be done in order to be completed.

First we admit to God the good, bad, and ugly columns. He was there and knows what happened. It's important though that you have this relationship conversation with Him, going over the story of your life. Celebrate the good, consider the bad, and acknowledge the ugly outside of your control. He loves you regardless of what occurred.

Second, you admit to yourself the stuff from the moral inventory list. Do so in a quiet, safe place. You'll be gain insight and notice things that you may not have noticed before. You'll be able to deal with buried emotions, gain a sense of release, and feel more able to expand further on the admitting part.

Last and hardest of all, is admitting to another human being. It's best to do this with a safe and trusted person, preferably either someone in recovery, a pastor, or a counselor who would understand what you're trying to get accomplished.

Admitting helps to break the lie that you can't be loved because of the things you did and that happened to you. You will feel cleansed, realize that people can know you and love you. You will realize that don't have to be perfect, that it's okay to be just human. Just be honest with yourself.

This is a crucial step in order for you to heal and grow in your life. Be honest and specific in the admitting process. This can lead you to standing up for yourself and getting your voice back. Start having a clearer idea of what to do in your life and have boundaries. Most people don't sit down and go over their own stories. They just survive in life, going from day to day without working to better themselves and truly grow. Start breathing better and feeling better about yourself.

Married & Alone phone group: https://www.drdougweiss.com/married-and-alone-group/

Married & Alone support group for female partners of male Intimacy Anorexics:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/

Married & Alone support group for male partners of female Intimacy Anorexics:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/supportgroupSAIA/

Married & Alone book and DVD:
https://www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-alone-book/
https://www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-alone-dvd/

Visit https://intimacyanorexia.com/ for more information.

Also, we have a test you can take to determine if Intimacy Anorexia® is the issue in your marriage. Take the test here: https://intimacyanorexia.com/ia-test/

If you're the partner of an Intimacy Anorexic®, we call that Married and Alone. You can check out the series of books Dr. Weiss has written on that subject here:
https://www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-and-alone-set/

For more information about Partner Betrayal Trauma, go to: partnerbetrayaltrauma.org

For information on marriage counseling and intensives, go to https://www.drdougweiss.com/counseling/

For a full list of Dr. Doug’s products, go to https://www.drdougweiss.com/store/

Doug Weiss, Ph.D., is a nationally known author, speaker and licensed psychologist. He is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the author of several books including, Partner Betrayal Trauma ™.

You may contact Dr. Weiss via his website, https://www.drdougweiss.com/ or on his Facebook https://www.facebook.com/drdougweiss/
by phone at 719-278-3708 or through email at heart2heart@xc.org

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