HOW TO CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS AND USE THEM TO YOUR ADVANTAGE

HOW TO CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS AND USE THEM TO YOUR ADVANTAGE

We've all had to deal with anger at some point in our lives. Juna Mustad describes a couple of practical techniques that can be used to squash that anger and turn it into something productive.

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Speaker: Juna Mustad

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Transcript:
How many of you have ever said
or done something out of anger that you later regretted?
Anger can either be constructive or destructive,
but a lot of us do unhealthy things with our anger.
We get hijacked by our anger and end up erupting.
Like when you stub your toe
and suddenly you're cursing at the stupid coffee table.
When we let anger drive the car we can become
aggressive, name-calling, blaming, or even violent.
In essence,
it's like you've put your four year old self in the driver's seat,
dangerous.
So how do we get the adult back in the driver's seat?
How do we support the wise prefrontal cortex
in reclaiming the steering wheel
but still allow anger to sit safely inside the car?
Well, this is where mindfulness comes in,
and to quote mindfulness expert Dr. Shauna Shapiro,
“Mindfulness is paying attention with kindness and curiosity”.
Research has shown that
mindfulness practices support the growth of the regulatory fibers
from the prefrontal cortex
to the lower regions of our brain,
helping our wiser brain to come back online
when anger is present.
And the following mindfulness tools are key
to growing a healthy relationship with anger.
Breathe.
Let's all take a deep breath right now.
Taking deep breaths engages
the parasympathetic nervous system
and sends signals to our body that soothe the threat response,
putting us back into a more relaxed state.
So when you notice some tension or anger in your body,
first practice slowing things down
by taking deep breaths.
Name it.
A well-known study conducted at UCLA found that
when you name your emotions,
it puts the brakes on your physiological dysregulation and calms
the amygdala hijack.
So when you notice anger
without judgment say,
“I feel angry” or,
“I feel tension in my shoulders”.
Do it differently.
When you find yourself erupting with anger,
try feeling compassion.
Take a deep breath and say,
“I'm hurting right now,
how can I be kinder to myself and those around me?”.
Research on compassion indicates that it can
decrease cortisol levels, the stress hormone,
and increase the feel good hormone oxytocin.
When you find yourself stuffing anger,
try using your whole body to safely feel it,
when you creatively embody anger
it can help you begin to resolve past traumas
and support you in getting to know your boundaries.
And finally,
inquire.
Your anger has been trying to tell you something,
and it's time to listen.
With genuine curiosity ask your anger,
“what do I need to see right now
that I've been unwilling to face?”
“What needs to be protected or supported?”
“What action do I need to take right now?”
When more of us began to see anger as an ally,
not as a foe,
we open to the many gifts this emotion offers us.
When anger is our ally,
we see this emotion as the flashing red warning light
for the things that we or others are trespassing,
anger reveals our boundaries.
When we begin to own anger in our body,
we can start to thaw the parts of ourselves that have been locked
and frozen in trauma,
anger heals trauma.
And finally,
anger urges us to come out of denial and see clearly,
but we can't just stop there,
anger hangs around until we take action on what we see,
anger inspires action.
With all the great challenges humans are going to continue to face
just imagine what it might look like if so many more of us
were in healthy relationship with our anger,
exercising our power wisely
and channelling this vital energy towards improving our lives
and the world around us.
So the next time you feel angry,
will you pause,
take a deep breath
and get to know this potent ally?

Видео HOW TO CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS AND USE THEM TO YOUR ADVANTAGE канала The Outcome