☆ art college move in ☆

A vlog a lil too late, but it’s here now :) thank you for waiting. Also turning 19 in a few days! Thinking about taking a trip somewhere to relax~

Here’s a heartfelt something something:

Thanks to everyone who has been supporting me and sending me kind messages ♡ I always try to respond, and even if I don’t, I really appreciate it.

I’ve recently came to terms with my social anxiety and general anxiety, which I’ve tried my best to hide. It’s always what I viewed as a “weakness”; I die inside when people used to ask me “why do you never talk?.” I’ve spent years of my life feeling short of breath, panicked, afraid, overwhelmed, and even ashamed when I have to talk to people. Years of my life which I would eat lunch not speaking to anyone or sitting alone because I had no friends. It hurts because I love people. It’s hard because I can’t love myself. I’m crying as I am writing, just thinking back on those painful times (I cry way too easily ha).

I’m just a girl like any other who watches too many videos and always wanted to pick up my phone and film my own stuff. I’m honestly so thankful that I have a space on the Internet to log my life, share my creative side, and communicate.

I’m always afraid of appearing weak or imperfect, but fuck that, no one has things figured out. For a lot of my life, I’ve had many obsessive habits that are sometimes strange and even unhealthy. Pretty much, I repress my anxiety even though I’m still very much affected to this day. My mind could not stop racing a million miles an hour trying to figure out what a person’s tone could mean or what a person might imply or what I’m saying would make someone else hate me or or or.. It’s debilitating, sitting in my bed for hours at a time creating a FBI evidence board in my head.

I hate, hate, HATE admitting my sensitive side. There's very painful memories. Those are not desirable things, especially when showmanship and confidence is so wanted out of everyone. Just recently, I’m glad to say I’m feeling a lot more confident and opening up more. I really hope by admitting something that I am ashamed of and am in constant battle with, someone who comes across my message will feel like they are not suffering alone. Every one of us reveals something about the human condition. Live as yourself without shame and bringing up others. Know you are not lesser and you have great qualities you may not be aware of. I feel a lot of love for myself, life, people, and for you. Thank you all.

Conclusion to lighten the mood: fuck anxiety lol

Love,
Sharon
_____

🥚 Find Me
+ IG • https://www.instagram.com/duckliving/
+ SC • @wafflesrules https://www.snapchat.com/add/wafflesrules/

🥚 Music
+ Ukiyo • Look up https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F6Jh8tAJ6pQ
+Bane’s World • i must be wrong https://soundcloud.com/banes-world/i-must-be-wrong

🥚 Editing
+ Camera •iPhone 6s
+ Program • Premiere Pro CC

Видео ☆ art college move in ☆ канала Duckliving