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Make Anxiety and Anger Work For You | Jordan Peterson | Best Life Advice

"Instead of you having a dragon that's guarding the path in front of you, well, you have one chasing you down the path from behind. That's a lot more useful."
You can order Dr. Peterson's latest book "Beyond Order: 12 More Rules For Life" here: https://amzn.to/3nVw7jD
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➤➤Speaker:
Jordan Peterson
https://www.youtube.com/user/JordanPetersonVideos
https://jordanbpeterson.com/

➤➤Video Sources:
2017 Personality 10 Humanism & Phenomenology Carl Rogers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68tFnjkIZ1Q

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➤➤Music:
Dreamer by Hazy
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➤➤Editor:
WordToTheWise
https://www.youtube.com/wordtothewise

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➤➤Transcript (partial):
What happens if—if you're playing the proper game is that you integrate your emotions underneath your thinking, something like that. So, they're all working in the same direction.

You can make your anxiety work against you or for you. I made a program, called the Future Authoring Program, that I think helps people do that. 'Cause, one of the things you see when you're talking to people and they're trying to solve problems is that they're afraid to face the problem. And so, then, their anxiety is working against them and you can think about it as a—as antagonistic to rationality. But then, I could say, well, why don’t you think for a while about what your life would be like if you didn't face this problem? Because, if you think that through, if you have a problem and you really think through what the consequences are gonna be in three to five years of not facing it, then you're gonna get more afraid of not facing it than facing it. And that's great because then, your anxiety, instead of standing in front of you—instead of you having a dragon that's guarding the path in front of you, well, you have one chasing you down the path from behind. That's a lot more useful. And so... You know, that's just a—a minimal example of the utility of getting your emotions and your—and your thoughts aligned the same way. The same thing happens with aggression. You know, one of the most common reasons that people come and seek psychotherapy, really, is because they're too agreeable. But, what that means is they're not assertive enough. They haven't integrated their capacity for aggression. And so, other people can push them around. And they're very conflict avoidant. And so, the consequences of that across time is that you don't stand up for yourself well enough and you get taken advantage of and that spirals badly downward. And so, partly what you do when you're doing assertiveness training with people is you find out what they're angry about and they're usually angry, if they're not assertive enough, because other people are taking advantage of them or, you could say, because they're not putting their own necessities forward with enough force. It's hard to distinguish between those two things. But, anyways, you get them to talk about what they're angry about—that often makes them cry, often many times—and then, you get them to kind of envision what they would want to have instead, which they're often afraid to do because people are afraid to think about what they want because that makes it more clear when they're not getting it and that's painful, right? Or, maybe, they're afraid of hoping so they won't specify a clear aim. But, anyways, you get them to think about what they might want instead. You get them to think about the costs of not pursuing that and then, you help them develop strategies for integrating their aggression and with their thinking, so that they can come up with a plan to approach the world in a more confident way. So, for example, someone might come to me and say, "I'm being bullied badly at work." And so, then, I'll say, "Well, what are your options? Do you have to put up with it? Well, we'll figure that out cause maybe you do, maybe you don't have options. But here's how to find out. Get your damn CV together, so it's pristine, right? It's ready to go. Get over your fear of a new interview, because people are generally afraid of that. Get over your fear of applying for a new job...
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Видео Make Anxiety and Anger Work For You | Jordan Peterson | Best Life Advice канала WordToTheWise
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3 марта 2021 г. 19:00:06
00:06:10
Яндекс.Метрика