Dad do you even care? (A Slam Poem)

This is a slam poem for my Dad.

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Letter #3
Recently for some reason I'm in my feelings.
Every time you get brought up I swear I don't wanna hear it
And when your day roll around I've got a Scrooge kinda spirit
Cause celebrating a stranger don't really seem too appealing

Ever since I was young man I been waiting on you,
Thinking something was wrong with me and I was taking from you
I should've known you ain't even bother to leave a number
What kinda man leave his fam and worst of all.. forget you've got a son brother

I think you selfish, you could've stuck around and helped out, but I guess you an alpha the way you stepped out.
You know how hard it was? For a mother to raise 2 boys, making almost 400 bi-weekly
Think about it you got day care, utilities rent and she ain't drive, monthly bus passes aint cheap

I blame you for every rough patch, I blame you for every time I had to try and fake the tough act
When people asked me where yo dad at?
All I did was change the subject "Bruh you crazy.. where your class at.."

How was I supposed to tell them.. well see my dad was a sprinter right
When I was born he signed off and peace signed out I was still a baby, so In short I ain't seen him all my life

How am I supposed to feel when people patronize me ?
"You want me to help you find him" for what ? When you won't even recognize me
It's apparent I've got a chip on my shoulder, apparently it's a parental one that continues to grow as I get older
But last year on your day when I was crying feeling unwanted, storming out the church cause all the families made me feel taunted.

The deacon pulled me to the side and told me "stop stressing
Maybe the fact that he's not in your life is just a blessing
Who's to say he was good man with many lessons
What if he was the total opposite of what you expected

What if he was physically abusive.. what if he didn't believe he and your mothers bond was exclusive
What if the environment proved to be unconducive
Don't shed a tear, your fathers impact was inconclusive"

That's where I'm at right now, trying to figure out if I hate you
Or if, for your absence, i need to Thankyou
If you were present, would I be strung out on drugs, or hanging with thugs, or playing with guns,

i think it'll make you Smile if you knew who I was, never been part of a gang, never been shot, and never been buzzed
Never been to jail, don't even cuss, never disrespected a woman and I never had to struggle with lust

And that don't mean I'm perfect but i swear I'm trying
40 hours a week, full time student, and still ain't tired
Then I'm still making time for my future wife, and friends on the side
And I'm at church every Saturday night

So I don't need you. Thank god he let me meet some people to replace you.
Lecrae, ET, and Kevin hart took your place dude.
That's who I look up to. As far as you go, I look down to you. Cause truthfully me and you ain't cool.

I'm praying I ain't gon regret this, I hope you see it, hope you hear it, hope you feel it, hope you get stuck
But if you came here today, knocking on my door .. I'd open up and slam it in your face and wouldn't give a F____.

Видео Dad do you even care? (A Slam Poem) канала Darryl Mayes