Is Bono the Biggest Piece of Crap in the World? - SOUTH PARK

As Herr Brolof comforts Bono with biddy, he tells of how he defecated Bono in 1960 and raised him ever since. Randy finally takes his record-breaking crap and wins the trophy, which looks a lot like an Emmy.
"More Crap" S11

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EFSM MEMBER #3
Well congratulations, Bono, it
appears your record is intact.
BONO
I had a feeling it would be.
STAN
WAIT STOP!!!
Stan runs in dramatically. He runs up to the toilet.
STAN
Dad! Your OLD crap counts! Bono
never took a second crap that beat
yours!
Everyone looks at Bono.
BONO
Get him out of here!
EFSM MEMBER #3
What are you talking about young
man?
STAN
SOMEBODY has been keeping it a
secret. BONO was never the record
holder... HE'S THE RECORD.
Bono now looks panicked as he loos at everyone.
BONO
IT'S NOT TRUE! KILL THAT KID! I
WANT HIM DEAD!
The head Zurich guy steps into his own shot.
EFSM MEMBER #1
It's too late Bono... The boy has
learned the truth.
EFSM MEMBER #2
Heir Brolof - what do YOU know of
this?
EFSM MEMBER #1
It's true, I'm afraid. You see...
Until Mr. Marsh came along I was the
record holder for the biggest crap.
I took it back in 1960... It was the
most amazing crap I'd ever taken.
BONO
(crying)
Pa pa NO!!! SAY NOTHING MORE!
EFSM MEMBER #1
Come to me, my darling precious child.

BONO
(crying)
EFSM MEMBER #1
After I had broken the record I took
the crap home. I was so proud of it
that I... decided to KEEP it. To
try and RAISE it like a child.
BONO
No, papa... No, papaaaa...
EFSM MEMBER #1
There, there, my little crap, don't
cry... Here, Do you want the Biddy?
Hmmm? Does Bono want the biddy?
The old man takes out his flabby man tit and holds it for
Bono. Bono starts to suck eagerly at the teet.
BONO
(crying then
suckling sounds)
EFSM MEMBER #1
Yes, he likes the biddy doesn't he?
STAN
Dude.
EFSM MEMBER #1
I kept the crap in my office.
NURSED it. Fed it Biddy. And soon,
Biddy made him strong, Biddy made
him grow up... Into one of the most
influential figures of our time.
Easy Bono, that HURTS the biddy.
BONO
(suckling)
Biddy...
EFSM MEMBER #1
My little crap has accomplished many
things... But he could never shed
the fact that he was really a number
TWO. So he spent his life trying to
be number ONE... In EVERYTHING.

STAN
That's why he's able to do so much,
and try to help so many people, but
still seem like such a piece of
shit.
EFSM MEMBER #2
You have blemished this noble
society's good name, Heir Brolof!
EFSM MEMBER #1
Have I?! Look at the crap I took
all those years ago! Bono is now
almost six feet tall and over eighty
COURICS in weight!!! No matter how
you look at it --- HE IS STILL THE
RECORD!!
STAN'S DAD
Oh God here it commmmeess!! Oh hot!
HOT HOT HOT HOTTTT!!
Everyone runs over to Randy at the toilet.
STAN'S DAD
HAAHHHGHGHGGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH!!!!!!
Randy raises up in the air and spins around slowly as he
lays down an eight foot tall, hundred Couric shit.
EFSM MEMBER #3
My God!
EFSM MEMBER #2
It must over a hundred Courics!
STAN
Dad, are you alright.
STAN'S DAD
Yeah, I'm... No I'm good. I feel a
lot better.
EFSM MEMBER #2
Mr. Marsh, we apologize and if it's
okay with you... we would like to
present you -- your long overdue
trophy.

The EFSM member takes an Emmy and slowly pushes it into the
shit ---- PPRRPRPRPRPRPRPRRPRPTHGHGHGGH.
Everyone in the room claps for Randy lightly

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