I Didn't Hear No Bell - SOUTH PARK

Randy finally gets the chance to fight Bat Dad and gets the boys disqualified from the season championships.
"The Losing Edge" S09

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Bat dad is standing up and flapping his wings in the audience.
BAT DAD
COME ON DENVER!!!! GET THE LEAD
OUT!!! DO NOT CROSS THE BAT
DAAADD!!!
Kyle's mom and dad are sitting together with Ike about seven
rows down from where bat dad is.
KYLE'S DAD
Geez, I really wish this guy would
shut up.
BAT DAD
WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO HOME SOUTH
PARK?! YOU CAN'T BEAT DENVER!!!!
STAN'S DAD (O.S.)
DENVER SUCKS ASS!!!
Bat dad and everyone else gets a quizzical look and then
looks over to the isle.
Randy triumphantly walks down the isle about four rows back
from bat dad, with two beers in each hand. TRIUMPHANT MUSIC
PLAYS as Randy very casually takes a seat four rows back
from bat dad. Bat dad looks pissed and concerned.
STAN'S DAD
COME ON SOUTH PARK! THESE KIDS
CAN'T PLAY! IN FACT... THESE
DENVER KIDS ARE TERRIBLE!
Back to the field - Stan throws another pitch.
The Denver kid does an amazing move to dodge the ball and swing.
UMPIRE
STRIKE 2!
KYLE'S COUSIN
Oh Jesus, we're going to win! I've
never won a sport before! This is
so exciting!
STAN'S DAD
IT'S OVER, DENVER! SOUTH PARK
WHOOPED YOUR ASS!
BAT DAD
YOU BETTER SHUT YOUR MOUTH BEFORE I
SHUT IT FOR YOU!!
Stan's dad stands up and takes his shirt off.
STAN'S DAD
What do you wanna do, huh?
Bat dad thinks for a while... And then CHARGES RANDY!!
BAT DAD
AAHGHGHGHH!!
The two men start fighting as several audience members clear
the stands.
Stan sees the fight in the VERY far off distance behind him
on the pitcher's mound.
STAN
This can't get any worse.
Bat Dad and Randy wrestle their way to the top of the
breezeway, as a couple people in the stands watch and some
leave.
STAN'S DAD
(struggling)
BAT DAD
EEEE YAAAAAAAA!!
Bat dad throws Randy off.
Stan's dad lands with a thud on the ground below.
STAN'S DAD
OOF!
Bat Dad slowly gets up on the railing and slowly spreads his
wings, ready to pounce on Randy below.
BAT DAD
Now for the finishing move! YOU'RE
ABOUT TO BE BAT DADDED!!!
Bat dad jumps down, but just clumsily falls like Cartman did
off the roof.
BAT DAD
Oufff!
ANNOUNCER
That's the end of the fifth. South
Park is just one inning away from
being state champions.
Bat dad hits Randy over and over - Randy appears to be
losing.
STAN'S DAD
(taking shots)
OOF! OOG! OOG!
ANNOUNCER
OH JEEZ, AND IT LOOKS LIKE TWO
PARENTS ARE FIGHTING! They better
be careful, the little league has a
NO TOLERANCE POLICY!
UMPIRE
STOP! STOP OR YOU'RE GOING TO GET
YOUR TEAMS DISQUALIFIED!!!
Stan and Kyle look at each other.
STAN
Disqualified?
The South Park boys run toward camera.
STAN
FIGHT!! KEEP FIGHTING!!
Shot of the two dads fighting - the Umpires run in.
UMPIRE
BREAK IT UP!! BREAK IT UP!!

Slow mo - Randy's POV of Bat Dad punching him.
BAT DAD
(slow mo)
RARGRRGG!!
Slow mo - Randy takes the classic Rocky punch to the face.
Slow mo - Randy goes to the ground
Slow mo - Randy hits the ground with an ECHOING THUD
The Umpires all get to the fight and stand between where
Randy fell and Bat dad, holding out their arms to block.
UMPIRE
THAT'S ENOUGH!! THE NEXT PERSON
THAT FIGHTS IS GETTING HIS TEAM
DISQUALIFIED!!
Bat Dad backs down.
BAT DAD
He's done for anyway.
Stan rushes over to his father with the other boys behind
him.
STAN
COME ON, DAD! GET UP!
KYLE
GET UP, YOU HAVE TO FIGHT!
Randy lays on the ground, eye swollen, barely moving, as
IMAGES FLASH THROUGH HIS MIND
UMPIRE
Alright, come on let's play ball!
SWIRLING CROWD
SOUTH PARK PLAYERS
RAN-DY! RAN-DY! RAN-DY!
Cut back to Stan's dad struggling on the ground.
Bat dad turns and walks away slo mo.

MORE IMAGES flash into Randy's mind.
CROWD
RANDY! RANDY! RANDY!
BURGESS MEREDITH
GET UP, ROCK! GET UP, YA BUM!
STAN'S MOM
Get up, Randy! Fight! Fight for
me!
Stan's dad picks himself up slowly.
Bat dad is walking away, Stan's gets up.
STAN'S DAD
Hey Bat dad...
Bat Dad turns around.
STAN'S DAD
I didn't hear no bell.
SOUTH PARK PLAYERS
YEAH!!!!
Randy charges Bat Dad and starts punching bat dad
repeatedly, sending him walking backwards.
STAN'S DAD
HOOMF! HOOMF! HOOMF!
UMPIRE
STOP! STOP RIGHT NOW!
STAN'S DAD
I'M THE BEST! AROUND! NUTTIN BUDDA
HUMMA DUMMA HEY!
UMPIRE
I'M WARNING YOU SIR!
STAN'S DAD
I'M THE BEST AROUNNDDD! OOMF!
Stan's dad gives one last punch that sends Bat Dad flying
into the two other umpires and to the ground - the home
Umpire gets in front of Randy and blocks him.
UMPIRE
That's it! That's it!
SOUTH PARK IS DISQUALIFIED!
BOYS
YEAHHHH!
SOUTH PARK PARENTS
AAWWWW!
ANNOUNCER
South Park has been disqualified
from the game! Denver Wins!!!
The boys all charge Randy and hug and dance as TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYS.
The Denver players all throw their mitts down in front of
their dugout.
KYLE'S COUSIN
We LOST?!
Two cops come up behind Randy and put cuffs on him.
STAN'S DAD
What?! I thought this was a free country!

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